𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 ✓

FOURTEEN

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After about two minutes, I decide to go after him. He shouldn't feel like I judge him for opening up to me like that. As soon as I get up, my wine glass balanced on the chair's armrest, my head goes fuzzy. The world has to be spinning faster than before, right? 

With carefully placed steps, I go inside, where I find Sebastian sitting on the couch, face in his hands. His breathing is steady and slow. He's not crying.

Slowly, I walk up to the living space and sit down on the opposite end of the couch. I don't want him to feel like I intrude on his personal space. That's pretty much as far as I can think as of now. My limbs slightly tingle. It's really a shame I don't drink more often. Now I act like I haven't had drinks in ten years. I sniff, wipe my nose with the back of my hand. 

"I kind of know how you feel," I eventually say with a steady voice. He scoffs but doesn't change his position. Uncomfortable in this situation, I bite my lip before continuing. If he can open up to me, then I can open up to him, right? 

"No, seriously. Only that I'm the one putting pressure on myself. My parents are proud of me whenever, but I always feel like I'm not enough. When they... got divorced, it got worse. I wanted to be the best at everything. Make them proud. I still push myself to my limits, and by now, I'm not sure whether this is the best thing I should be doing, you know?"

He eventually glances up at me, his brows pinched together. But he doesn't say anything. All I can tell is that his eyes softened. Tit for tat, now we're even.

I inhale deeply and get back up to go back to my unfinished glass of wine. My feet are heavy, but I manage to directly walk to the porch. I close the sliding glass door behind me. The only noises are the faint burble of the lake and the cicadas. I sigh as I sit back on my chair and grab my glass. The stars are covered by clouds now, only the moon has to be out. Its cold light illuminates the lake from somewhere behind me. It's peaceful. My slightly fuzzy brain comes to a state of blankness. I stare at the lake, my thoughts going back and forth between what Sebastian has revealed to me and what I told him. I would've never thought we would be so similar in the way that we're both working under constant pressure. He didn't expect that either.

After a few more minutes, I hear the glass door slide open. Sebastian sits back in the other deck chair without saying anything. But when I glance over at him, I think to find a trace of a grateful smile on his stubbled face. Now, the warmth in my chest is no longer the wine's fault.

The silence is not like the one on the drive here. It's rather comfortable to know that someone shares your problems in a way. I don't know whether he thinks the same, but as he is out here with me, steadily breathing in the night air, I believe that maybe he does.

Summer storms usually announce themselves way before they arrive over an area. This one doesn't. A few seconds after the first lighting and thunder shake the earth, sudden rain falls down on us like from a hose. I jump from my seat, my red shirt and joggers already soaked, and Sebastian doesn't seem to notice the rain until he realizes I leaped out of my seat. 

"Shit," he curses as he jumps up, his white shirt already soaked. I can see that his arm muscles are not the only ones he's been working on. His chest and stomach are equally toned, and with his brown hair hanging into his face and the wet t-shirt, he looks straight out of a magazine cover.

I gulp as I catch myself staring at him. We both stand in the rain in shock. Never in my life did I experience a rainfall that came so heavy and so sudden. 

"Let's go inside," I suggest in a loud shout to drown out the noise of the rain hitting the roof of the cabin and the porch. He nods and we both quickly run to the door, which I struggle to open at first. My thick, dark hair hangs from my scalp lifelessly, dripping onto the wooden floor as I step inside with a relieved laugh escaping my throat. Much to my surprise, I see Golden Boy also chuckling openly, his smile so broad I can see his seemingly perfect teeth. What about him doesn't look so damn good?

I close the door. When I turn around, I find myself extremely to him. The last time he was this close to me was when I had initiated that awkward hug after the embarrassing night at the bar. My breath grows heavier instantly, and I tilt my head up to look him in his face. His smile, just like mine, has now suddenly faded. My heart skips a beat. He's so perfect, even from up close.

His gaze flicks over my wet face, seems to trace every feature of it. My brows, my freckles, my eyes, my nose. And lastly, my mouth. The tip of his tongue quickly wets his lips as his gaze is now fixated on mine. I look at his eyes. They look darker than before. I feel heat piling up in my stomach, traveling deeper with every second until it's finally between my legs. I've never felt like this around him. We've spent the entire day without any major argument and now, his face is so close to mine that I feel his hot breath on my face. 

I find myself inching closer to him. When I suddenly feel strong hands grasping my waist, I hold my breath in surprise. Positive surprise. Because this, as new and unusual for us it is, feels not the tiniest bit weird. It almost feels natural, which admittedly scares me a little. My hands jolt up to his chest, where the white, thin fabric of his shirt sticks to his hot skin. I feel his rapid heartbeat underneath my palm, and I gulp. 

Somehow, he got even closer now. Our noses brush against one another, cold from the rain. My mind goes completely blank now, and I know the alcohol is partly to blame for lowering my hesitation so much. I close my eyes just as his flutter shut as well. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.

I feel his lips brushing against mine, wet from the storm and slightly cold, but they barely touch me. I want him to really kiss me. Deepen the kiss and make his tongue meet mine. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. Please.

Our lips touch as lightly as possible, it feels like butterfly wings on my sensitive, soft skin. Our breaths mingle, none of us says anything. We both smell like the wine we just had. God, I want to know if he tastes like that, too. 

Determined to finally connect our lips, I get on my tiptoes while the grip on my waist tightens, holding me close to him.

A loud combination of lightning and thunder shakes the ground, and suddenly, the moment is over. I step back at the same time he does. We're both heavily breathing, shook from the sudden thunder, confused about what just happened. I feel my cheeks heat up as I blush, my hands that had just rested on his wet chest are awkwardly floating around in front of me. His hands are by his side instead of on my waist, and I admittedly hate that fact. I gulp down the knot of excitement and feel the heat between my legs spread through my tingling body before it slowly fades. All this time, we hold eye contact, though he keeps on taking steps back until he meets the kitchen island. He winces and closes his eyes tightly. 

"You shower first," he says sharply, his voice lacking any emotion. His breath is still heavy. I gulp again and nod.

"I'll be quick," I promise him, and rush into the bathroom. As the hot water hits my naked skin about one minute later, I finally let the tears run down my face. What the actual fuck was that??