Forced Marriage {JJK × y/n}

HEART VS BRAIN

'I am sorry!' Tears finally cascaded his burning gaze as he stepped out of the cafe. He ran. He jogged his steps faster, faster enough to run away from you, his heart which burnt in your love. His heart pushed him one step back to you while he ran two steps further to run away from you. 

If he did what his heart wanted… then he would have ruined your perfect ongoing life. He would have never forgiven himself after that… he can bear the pain, oh god… he can't but he will bear everything to see you being happy in your life. 

Wiping his face with his coat's sleeves like a small baby rubbing his face with his sweater paws, he rushed on the streets. Not having any idea about where his steps took him, where he was heading to… he just kept sprinting. At least his racing heart was calming down a little. 

As soon as he comes across a quiet area, probably a residential area, he stops. He takes a minute to catch his breath, kneeling to hold his knees while his mouth opens to grasp air. His tearful gaze fails to study the area while the guilt hits him again. He needed mercy, he didn't need to be so hard on himself and only you could have made him understand that. 

'I was so close to you,'

'So close,'

'And I ran away?'

'Oh god!! What have I done…'

'At least I could have waited and just see from afar,'

'At least I could have waited outside your cafe to get a glimpse of you,'

'At least I could have covered up myself so that you couldn't recognise me while placing an order,'

'What a demon I am!'

Grabbing his hair harshly, he curses at himself while pulling the bunch of them. He thought he would move on as he did with Sarang, he thought his heart won't crave for you, he thought that he would probably get over you knowing that you hate him… but every thought of him was wrong. 

You never hated him… you could never do it. You were hurt, maybe still are because he didn't even try a little to hold you back. He just let you go… lies, lies, and only lies were fed to you. 

'Fck… Jeon, how immature you are!' He swears, composing himself and pulling himself to act a strong businessman again. 

He checks the maps and books a cab for the way to his hotel. From the moment he heard you was the moment he would never want to forget anything. Anything about you was enough for him to survive for the whole life but as a human tendency, wishing for more was what his heart asked for. He wished he could see you, hold you, smile in your embrace, feel your soft touch… but he knew somewhere he would never get and despite everything, he doesn't deserve anything. 

As you complete your shift early, you rush to your rented apartment to pick Rose and take her to the hospital. Gladly, the doctor didn't have many patients to check which allowed Rose to get over with her checkout sooner than you expected. The tests were taken while the doctor asked her to visit by tomorrow again to show the reports. Even if it took less time, it was already past late evening and Rose was getting hungry.

On the way back home, she ordered dinner for herself while you ditched her talk by saying you weren't hungry. You had an appetite maybe but you didn't feel like eating. So you just dropped the dinner again. It's been like this for years and it'll continue like this. 

Tears well up in your gaze as you are reminded of the horrendous night…

"Y/n!" Rose's voice echoes the living room as she indicates to you to get inside. You then realized that you were still standing on the doorframe. 

You soon headed to take a shower ignoring her questions about why you weren't hungry. You didn't have the answer. 

Did he eat? Is he doing well? I hope so…

Turning the tap on, the sprinkles of hot waters pierces your cracked skin. 

'Shh,' you grunt, punching the wall nearby as the wounded places start stinging due to the hot water. Few drops of blood surround the paining places as you let your tears roll in the shower. The waters seeped deeper and deeper inside the bundles of cells, poking the sensory receptors. While your head started spinning a little. Taking support of the nearby wall, you rested your back against the cold surface of it. Your trembling hand made its way to find the shower and turn off the water.  As you do so, your half-closed eyes watched your shaking body in the mirror that rested above the sink. 

It hurts… but who could you blame for it? You were the giver… you gave yourself all this…

The nail scratches painted your once smooth skin from your breasts to the southern parts of your body. The cuts of the sharp blades dug in your skin still had their marks and needed time to heal which you never allowed. The forks covered all your arms, dragging their three painted tips from your shoulder blade to your wrists. The more they wish to heal, the more you scrape them. None of the marks were healed in these three years and you never want them to. They remind you of the mistake you did and beg you to not allow anyone near you. 

No one… no one should come near… no one should touch me… 

"Kook…" an unbearable hiss escalates your throbbing lips as you crash down on the floor. 

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A very short chapter... I know😭. And I am sorry for that. I am busy with my end sems hence it took long. I'll update tomorrow as I have the another past written in advance (don't get excited it's not edited and the grammar mistakes are hell over there) so I'll post it by tomorrow morning for sure.

Till then, enjoy!!❤...
And yes I don't get irritated when you all remind me... Don't feel sorry about it😩❤.
Love you all❤