Spy School Goes to Trial

Chapter 19 - Trial

Warehouse
Somewhere in Washington D.C.
May 30
1330 Hours

Everyone in the jury stand immediately began talking over each other. It was hard to make out what was being said in the cacophony, but they clearly did not have nice things to say about me. Murray violently started banging his gavel on the bench, again.

"Guys, c'mon. I'm the one in charge. You have to listen to me," he whined. Murray tried to sound in charge, but everyone else seemed to have their own list of grievances against me. Finally, they stopped, and the room was quiet again.

"That's better. Now, I have to start with the charges, then you will all have a turn. Ok? Benjamin Ripley I hereby charge you with the crime of being a huge pain in the butt."

I was caught off guard. I thought maybe the charge would be 'thwarting my plans' or 'being too good at stopping my schemes', but not something as childish as being a pain in the butt. But I really shouldn't have been that surprised.

Since Murray was pretending this was a real case, or at least pretending to be something he saw on television, I thought it might work to my advantage if I played along. In the least, I might draw this sham of a trial out longer and have a chance at being rescued, or escaping.

I interrupted, "I object! I don't have a lawyer. Who is going to defend me? I think it's only fair that I get a lawyer"

"You can't object, that's not allowed. You don't get a lawyer, you have to defend yourself. No one here is going to save you." Then he looked up, "Josh, why don't you go first?"

"Thank you. Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," Joshua said, taking his role a little too seriously. "Benjamin Ripley sits here in front of us, accused of the crime of being our biggest pain. We all know the type of person he is. He has done everything he can to ruin us!"

In the times that I faced Joshua before, he always seemed very calm and composed. He could easily compete with Erica in the cool detachment category, never letting anything seem to affect him. But, now he was losing it. With each word he spoke, he became increasingly unhinged. I wondered if he had hit his head one too many times during all his falls.

He continued, "Ben has lied to me! Ben has thwarted my plans! Ben has taken away my limbs!" The rest of the jurors applauded and cheered as he said this. "Ripley chased after me, unprovoked, and sent me falling twenty feet down into a Cenote, breaking my leg! Again!"

"What's a Cenote?" Warren asked.

"You were trying to melt Antarctica!" I said.

"Objection! I am not the one on trial here," Joshua countered.

"Overstained!" Murray yelled back, conflating Overruled and Sustained into a nonsensical word.

"I think you mean overruled or sustained," I said helpfully.

"Oh, yeah, I always get those two mixed up. Which one means Josh is right?"

Joshua groaned, "You mean sustained."

"Ok, then sustained. Josh is not on trial, so you can't use his evil deeds against him," Murray ruled, and adjusted his ridiculous powdered wig.

"May I continue," he asked Murray, calming down again. "If it wasn't for Ripley, I would still have my arm and legs. I would also still have my eye. I look ridiculous, like a cyborg pirate!"

I wasn't sure, but I thought I could see moisture in his one good eye, like he was holding back tears, mourning the loss of his eye. To be fair, losing that part of his body wasn't directly my fault. He fell into a ravine while escaping from me, which resulted in him losing his arm. He chose a hook at the end of his prosthetic to replace it. Unfortunately, he forgot it was there when he went to rub his eye and that's why it was missing. The other jurors murmured support and agreement, some even patted him on the back. I thought that was a little odd, since they were basically agreeing that he did actually look like a cyborg pirate.