The little things

15. After Shock

(1577 words)

"NooOOo!" Mystery boy cried out, his voice cracking and his throat burning, yet he couldn't stop. The new game he brought thrown off somewhere unimportant.

He was clutching onto the loose ground, his knees stained red and his head giving off waves of pain. Hot tears poured down his cheeks as mucus and saliva decorated the bottom half of his face.

His nails dug into the ground as his palms pressed harder and harder, his own voice disappearing the more he let what just happened settle in. That was when Mean boy knew to step out.

He took Mystery boy away from the front, leaving the body empty for a minute or two as he tried to console his calm headed head mate. The Nerdy boy was already in his room, the other boys knowing what would happen and made sure the Nerdy boy was no witness. He was too young to witness such a horrible death.

When he was in control of the body once more, he stared off the edge of the cliff and glanced down, deciding to remove a cigarette and lighter from his jacket pocket. Smoking was a bad habit of his and he knew he was not only hurting himself but his head mates, yet stopping was a much more difficult feat.

He took a seat so his feet could dangle off the ledge, the cool breeze blowing slightly harder. The stars seemed to dim and the night that was usually filled with life was no longer active.

And Mean boy believes that is why, on that dreadful night five years ago, he could hear the music playing from the little shits phone. A song he has only heard a few times playing so lowly he knows he wouldn't have heard it any other way.

He took a drag out of his cigarette then reached to his left, dragging the small device over to his side. He stared at it for two more puffs before unlocking the phone, immediately being met with notes meant for him to read.

Hey Mean boy, I know it's you who found the phone first, I don't know how I know but I do. If you're reading this, that means I didn't say all I had to before I died. My name is Jamison, and I'm a senior in high-school. I would be 18 in March.

That's not the point though, the point is, even though we didn't talk a lot, I'm glad I got to meet you. You were real with me, you never once lied and you always said what was on your mind, I could have learned a lot from you.

I don't want the cops being called for me. If my dad ever has a slight chance of becoming human, I want the first sight of reality to be my body at the bottom of the cliff. I know it sounds mess up but he deserves it for what hell he put me through, but if you do call the cops I won't be mad at you.

I don't have much to say so, just know that me ending my life has nothing to do with you or any of the boys, it was going to happen one day and we both know it.

So this is my final good bye Mean boy, I wish I could have loved you.

That simple note so many years ago brought the first tears the Mean boy has shed since he became a part of the system, and he had to admit that it was the last line that really brought him over the edge.

The rest of the night he listened to the songs that played and smoked till his pack was gone, returning home just to call off of work for the next week or two. He made sure that both of his head mates were fine before heading back to his room, allowing Mystery boy to take front.

The phone was laid out on the table and he knew it was for him to read, though he couldn't, not yet anyway. He couldn't face the reality that the Broken boy was gone. He couldn't wrap is head around how someone he barely knew could become so important to him.

His eyes still burned with unshed tears and he couldn't focus on anything without his mind drifting to how the Broken boy's hair would flow in the wind. It was so pretty and he never even had the chance to braid it.

He went through the day by taking short naps and barely eating a full meal. Mean boy wouldn't be fronting anytime soon and he didn't want Nerdy boy to front just yet, knowing that the kid needed more time than he did.

His throat still hurt from his screaming episode the day before and he silently apologized to his head mates for the pain. His head and body also throbbed with pain but that was more due to the forced switching they had done.

When the day was turning into night he figured he should read what the Broken boy had to say to him, knowing it's the last he would hear from the recently dead boy.

Hey Mystery boy, if you got this that means Mean boy did what I asked him to. I wrote this because I had more to say then what I first left with, like how my name is Jamison.

Please know that me ending my life was bound to happen, I just didn't see any other way to make me absolutely happy. You and the boys definitely made my life worth living those extra few months, and I want to thank you for teaching me things I didn't even know existed.

If I regret anything from my life it would be not learning the names of the boys that saved my life, whether I wanted them to or not. And honestly, I can't really say I hated that you came that night and stopped me.

So, this is my final goodbye, I just wished I had more time to love you.

Mystery boy had soft tears running down his cheeks as he dropped the phone onto the bed, wanting to scream but knowing that would only make his throat worse.

After twenty years of being alive, no one has ever had such an effect on Mystery boy. He was always so calm and collected, knowing what to do next and how to react, but all of that went away when it came to the Broken boy, now known as Jamison.

His head hurt and so did his chest, his mind racing until sleep over took him. Seeing someone die of their own free will felt more heart breaking than seeing someone die by the hands of another, because when someone dies of their own free will you know that they thought it over. You know that they imagined it happen and yet they still continued.

You know that no matter what you did, they still would have chosen that path.

So Mystery boy opted for sleeping. It brought the thoughts down but for some reason, for some sick reason five years ago, he knew he should have stayed up longer. He knew he should have prolonged Nerdy boy from reading what Jamison had wrote but he didn't, because he needed to stop thinking.

Nerdy boy was so innocent when he was fourteen, when he didn't know that the Broken boy existed just yet, and now as he reads the note that was left for him, he wonders if there was anything he could do to stop it from happening.

Hey Nerdy boy, I know it probably took courage for you to read this and I'm so proud of you for that. But I know it's hard and I'm so sorry for what I'm about to say, but I think it needs to be said.

You're an amazing guy. Your knowledge is outstanding and your smarts are beyond what anyone can imagine, I'm pretty sure your as smart as Einstein.

I learned how to find hidden messages in books and I know now that every Disney princess was underage. But I didn't write this note to appreciate you for teaching me new things.

I wrote it because I know you're the only one that will understand this next part on a deeper level then the rest.

Things always look different than they seem, though in a way that is what makes them so much more than they are. The cover of any book can hide secrets the author creates yet at the same time the ones in the library are always being judged by how they show themselves to the world.

You were a smart kid Nerdy boy; you knew things others would have missed and yet the way you show yourself off makes it seem like you are never sure of your abilities. I wish that one day you know your worth and are able to be true to yourself.

So as my final goodbye, I need you to know that loving you was something out of a fairy tale, one without a happy ending.

Those messages were written and read five years ago, each one addressed to a certain head mate. The notes brought tears to each boy and so for five years they paid their respect by going to the cliff every day and brining flowers.

Even when they moved, they made sure to come back every year on February first so they never forget the boy that they could have loved.