Unofficially Mine

Chapter 10

He took longer to reply to my texts.

The past few days he replied within minutes. But after my confession and our lovey dovey session yesterday, he took a long time to reply.

But I should probably give him the benefit of doubt.

Maybe he was spending time with cousins? Or he was probably hooked on a series? Hell, he must have been destroying the toilet too... *gag*

But then again, 8 freaking hours???! That too from a nocturnal animal like him?!

I sent the text at midnight, which was 10 minutes after he texted me. But I wake up the next morning...and he still hasn't replied.

Le Sigh

I should've known, he was just saying it to not make me feel bad about myself.

Wait...why hadn't I realized it before. He never said he felt the same way. He never mentioned a word about his feelings. Of course I was highly aware of his attraction towards me. But other than that, he never had any genuine feelings. It's not like I'll force him to be my boyfriend if he tells me he likes me.

I don't want to be a girlfriend either!!

I'll bag the prize for worst girlfriend of the year award. Yea, not a title I'd want to call my own.

And soon he was going to go back to university (it's still covid y'all. We had online classes till now, which was the sole reason why our friendship escalated to this point), which is the one Allison goes to.

Fan-frickin-tastic.

He didn't like me talking about Allison like he was going to get back together with her. I knew he wouldn't. I trusted him when he said he wouldn't .

But I knew that he cared about her enough to buy her donuts. I love donuts!

That's besides the point you silly woman!

Apparently, she researched for his Halloween costume. And I didn't do shit. I love him and all, but is it my fault that the guy couldn't use his own creativity? Plus, I don't even believe in celebrating it. Don't give me shit for it. It's my stand and I won't change it.

I mean, I'm a strong Catholic. Isn't it stupid of me to celebrate the devil's festival?? Also, it's the official festival of the Wiccans (the Witchcraft community). Dark magic is definitely not for me. *shudder*

It's almost like a devil worshipper going to the nativity scene and singing, 'Happy birthday Baby Jeeeesuuuus!'

Devil and Jesus are definitely not besties. So sue me for not caring enough about his Halloween costume.

Brownie points :
Allison - 1
Alisha - 0

*Sigh*

I should stop sighing like the world is ending.

I'm still bitter about his lack of response. I feel like he kisses me when he feels like it and then he's MIA.

I can't believe I'm pining over a guy who will be gone from my life in mere days and has promised me an unpredictable future.

Why am I doing this to myself. I'm definitely not selfish if I want to protect my heart.

I HAVE to stay away from him.

It's definitely not unfair to him because he only needs to think about me in the future. While I have to keep waiting for him till he's ready for me again? That's the shorter end of the stick.

I have to bear the jealousy, frustration and pain of being away from him and seeing him with so many others?

Should I always have my head in the clouds fantasizing about him and get distracted from my goals and dreams?