Unofficially Mine

Chapter 16

It was a punishing kiss. He kissed me so hard, like he was trying to convey something. I couldn't stop him. I was too deep into it.

His hand that was holding on to my face, wandered to my waist, lifting me up and twisting me easily such that I was straddling his waist. I could feel him through the boxers I was wearing. He wrapped one hand around my neck and the other around my hip pulling me impossibly close. His tongue swiped along the seam of my lips to get them to open.

He invaded my mouth, his minty taste muddling up my senses. He took his time exploring every corner and dragged both his hands to my ass, squeezing and grinding me against his hard on.

Shit.

This is wrong. Everything's repeating itself. I can't handle it if he decides to push me away.

I pushed him away with so much force that he fell back on the bed.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do this. I can't be one of the girls you satisfy your needs with."

He was silent for a moment and moved his gaze to the floor.

"And, what do you mean by that?"

"...The other day I saw you at the party making out with someone. And...I saw you at Angelo's, that pasta place with another girl."

"So...you were stalking me?"

"No. God was just showing me signs as to why I should stay away from you", I said, rolling my eyes.

"Alisha. I don't have a girlfriend. You probably saw my cousin at Angelo's. And the other girl...well, she jumped on me. And I'm a guy", he said, shrugging his shoulders.

Pig.

"Exactly why I should stay away from you. You can go kiss her all you want. Leave me out of this."

"Are you jealous?", he asks, his lips slowly turning up at the corners.

What a smug ass.

I couldn't do this again. It was so hard for me all these years. And Axel definitely looks like he's the epitome of commitment issues. If he wasn't going to draw the line, I was. After all, the only heart that has a risk of getting broken is mine.

"No. I'm not. I mean it. You can do whatever you want with anyone. None of my business. I just don't want to be dragged into this. So please save all that sexual energy for your other girls."

"I don't sleep around, Ali."

"None of my business remember? I'm thankful to you for helping me. I really didn't think you'd come help me. I didn't know anyone else who I could trust so I called you. I'm sorry if I messed up any plans you had for tonight. Once I'm out of here, I'll pay you back."

"Right."

None of us spoke further and the tension was suffocating me.

I pushed myself off the bed and went over to the couch in the living room, pulling the woolen throw over my head.

An hour later, I still can't fall asleep.

I heard the bedroom door shut and saw Axel go to the kitchen.

I didn't dare speak up.

I'm not sure if its normal that I feel guilty about this. I'm not sure if I really hurt him. I'm not sure how to feel about supposedly hurting him. It's not like he has feelings for me and I broke his heart.

Not today anyway.

Anyway, this was for the best.

Do I regret stopping the kiss? Yes, very much. But I stopped acting on impulses. He's a great kisser. And I feel an overwhelming rush of emotion when we kiss. But I wasn't willing to go into depression and Axel withdrawal symptoms, for a few minutes of lust.

I peeked up from under the covers to see him chugging down a bottle of water. He screwed the cap on and turned his head in my direction and I quickly put on a show of being the embodiment of a hibernating bear.