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tw: talk about suicidal thoughts
Jason unlocked the door, only to meet darkness and silence. He frowned while hanging up his jacket. After that his hands searched for the light switch.
The light flickered on. The apartment was empty. Jason made his way to the kitchen. No one there. The only thing that caught his eye was a notebook laying on the table.
With small steps he went towards it. He picked up the notebook. His thoughts was confirmed. It was hers. He smiled to himself, just the thoughts of her made him feel better. But those thoughts was crushed quickly.
A small piece of paper fell out of the book. Jason bent down to pick it up. What he saw was something that he never thought he would see.
Letting out a shaky breath he started to read.
Dear everyone. My loved ones.
I've never wanted it to end like this. But I haven't been able to find any form for happiness lately. I have tried, and tried. Still it seems impossible.
I'm sorry for leaving like this. I've never meant to hurt anyone, but I don't want to hurt. And sorry for causing a mess, and drama. Know that I love you all. So very much.
Especially you Jason. I love you so so much. I know we'll meet again.
It's just that I need to rest. I need to let go of all the sorrow.
Love, Melody.
Jason stared at the paper. Then it hit him. Melody wasn't home. He ran into the bedroom, bathroom and balcony. But he couldn't find her anywhere.
He felt his heart rate pick up. And tears started to form in his eyes. He didn't know what to do. Where would she go? He panicked and hid his face in his hands.
His head flew up when he heard the door open. He ran towards the hallway and stopped when Melody looked him. "Hi?" She hung up her coat and just stood there.
"Have you been feeling alright lately baby?" Jason asked. Melody knew. She knew what he was talking about. "Cause if you aren't, I want to talk to me." Melody closed her eyes. "I'm going to show you something. But first, I want you to know you don't have to be upset with yourself, and know I'm not upset with you."
Jason opened the page again with trembling hands. "Have you?" He started. "Have you actually been thinking about ending-? Ending your life?" He felt his voice break. Melody didn't dare to look at him, she kept looking down. Jason burst into tears. "Why? Why haven't you told me?" He sobbed.
Melody didn't know what to say. Nor what to do. "Jason." "No! Why haven't you been able to tell me? Why don't you want me to help you? Why can't I help you?" His voice was desperate. Still she kept shut. "Do you realize I will be nothing without you? That my life would be hell without you there?"
The couple just looked at each other. "Do you realize that I wouldn't have anyone to talk to? Anyone to help me smile when I'm sad? Do you realize that?"
"You could always find another?" She mumbled. "Huh? Find another? Has it ever hit you that I won't find another! I've been lucky enough to find YOU!" He raised his voice, making Melody sob. "Baby." He walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her little body.
"I'm sorry Jason." She cried into his chest. "No, don't be. It's not your fault." He cupped her face in his hands. "Melody? Can you promise me that you'll talk to me now? That I can be sure that you'll come to me when you need it?" She met his eyes, nodding carefully.
"Good." He mumbled before leaning in to kiss her. "First step is going to be seeking professional help." "I can't do that. I don't know if I can do that alone." She bit her lip. "You won't. I'll be there. Every step. I'll drop band practice to meet up for you."
Melody looked at him lovely. "I love you Jason. I really do." They laid their foreheads against each other's.
"And I love you Melody. So much." He kissed her again, tears running down his cheek.
Jason would do anything to protect his Melody, his own muse. And he hoped that she knew that now.
