~Poetry Book~ (READ DESCRIPTION)

Me

This poem is also an old poem, it has a couple of errors and it's not the best but it's kind of the poem that truly got me into poetry.

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This thing inside me, it's not going away.

One day I decided to build up the guts

Just to chop my hair

so when I take a breath of fresh air

I can finally feel like myself.

I just want to feel something but I guess it's not that easy.

But then a few days later when I got back to school.

What was I met with? But all the boys asking me if I'm going to cry,

being stripped of my dignity right before my eyes.

They're all acting like insulting is a race, calling me names and slurs right to my face

"you're a butch, you're a faggot, a dyke, a tranny" "what are you gonna do about it you stupid fucking pansy?"

After that day I decided to just push it all down. Deep, deep, deep down to the depths of my soul until one day i just start losing control

all the feelings inside of me, all welling up, till I snap, break, like a strained rubber band of confusion , distress, and pain from my own hand. And then I have to realize this thing is not going away.

This thing everyone calls a disease, a malfunction, an error, a glitch,

it's a part of me and god, is it one son of a bitch.

It's not going away and there's nothing I can do, nothing you can do, nothing anyone can do.

So I guess I just have to accept it and move on,

"it's got to be easy" oh boy was I wrong.

Most people say it's a phase, and how I wish they weren't wrong.

But it's been over a decade and it's still not gone.

I just wish it would go, I just wish I was normal, and I hate this society, all "proper and formal". Everyone's telling me to just be myself as long as everyone agrees,

as long as it's what everyone sees.

but to do that I'd have to kill who I am, just to become the person I dream to be. The person I wish other people could see. The person, the person that I can call me.

-Zac