Last Summer

i don't even remember your name

It's been four months since we've spoken and nearly four years since I loved you

In that time I have:

Dyed my hair red

Gotten a new boyfriend

Started (and finished) 18 TV shows

Had my heart broken

Baked the perfect cake

Gotten my G license

And thought about you around 583375 times

In the past few years, I've been been both very alone and very lonely (though never at the same time)

During the lonely times, the urge to text you is so strong I nearly succumb to the temptation

But my pride is stronger than my loneliness, and so I never do

I guess that's one thing we still have in common

A couple years ago, we used to have a lot in common

For example, we both loved cheesy bollywood movies, hated 8:00 am math class, and agreed to disagree on gulab jamun with ice cream

But my favourite thing that we had in common was that we were utterly, and completely, obsessed with each other

I still think of you from time to time

I neither want you back nor wish you well

I think of you simply for the pleasure of remembering

I read our old texts because your jokes still make me laugh

I look at our old pictures because your smile still makes me giddy

But if ever I were to see you again

By chance or by design

I'd never let you know any of this

I'd be just cold enough for you to think

Just distant enough for you to believe

That I don't even remember your name