OBSESSION - h.s.

8

TW: this chapter has themes of self-hate and negative body image

"Lia..." I wake up with a jolt to see Abby standing over me. I immediately turn on the light and look up at her. "I'm just going out for a bit, you'll cover for me right?" I blink a few times, trying to get my eyes to focus on her.

"Ugh, yeah, sure. What time is it?"

"Nine thirty." Nine thirty? What time did I go to bed? She seems to notice my confused look because she answers my internal question. "I think you went to bed around six? You were pooped."

"Oh okay, yep, I'll cover for you. I was just going to get up and go to the bathroom anyway. I'm not really tired anymore." I pull the covers off my body and stand up, reaching for my hoodie to pull over my sports bra.

"See you later then." She smiles and grabs her coat from the coat rack by the entrance to her side of the room and exits. I sigh before going to the room divider and opening the door to go to the bathroom. I turn on the light and look at myself in the mirror; I look gross. I go to the toilet and do my business, then wash my hands and wipe them on the hand towel. 

Going back to the mirror, I take off my jumper because I feel warm, placing it on the vanity next to the sink. I then grab a hair tie and tie my hair into a messy bun, honestly not caring what it looks like. After completing the bun, I look at it for a moment before moving my eyes down my body, pausing at my stomach. I turn side on to the mirror and sigh, I have so much stomach fat. I grab at the skin on my stomach and pinch it in between my fingers, a tear trickling down my cheek. I look into my eyes once again, wiping at them with the back of my hand.

I turn away from the mirror and grab my jumper again, walking out of the bathroom and into the living area. I chuck the jumper on a chair and decide to do a little tour around the room, looking more in depth than earlier today. I see the TV remote on the coffee table in front of the couch and press the on button, mainly to add background noise. I then walk to the wall opposite the front door and open the blinds a little, the white light of the moon mixing with the warmth of the lamp light coming from my bedroom. I turn to the left and see another door, opening it to see a kitchen and pantry. I walk in and look for a snack, but decide against it, walking out again and deciding to sit on the couch.

I sit down and get comfortable, pulling the throw off the back of the couch and wrapping it around me. I change the channel until I find something semi-interesting and lay back. Watching the program intently for a few minutes, I eventually start to lose interest and let my mind wander. I think about the people back home, people that are counting on me: my dad, brother, my friends, Kai. Oh, Kai. I miss him so much. I haven't spoken to him in three weeks since his diagnosis, and I feel really bad about it. I just didn't think it was my place to say anything, since we broke up the week prior. I really want to call him and see if he's okay, I know he must feel terrible.

I hear a knock at the door and snap out of my trance. I take the throw from around me and place it back on the couch. It must be Abby, she probably forgot her keys of something. I begin walking over to the door but pause for a moment to suck my stomach in a bit before continuing. I get to the door and turn the knob.

"Oh! What do we 'ave 'ere?" A boy around my age stands in the door way, looking at my eyes to my chest and back up again. I immediately cover my chest and rush over to the chair and pull on my hoodie in record time.

"Who are you?" I question him, walking back to the door. He just smirks and holds out his hand.

"I'm Niall."

"Cecilia." I take his hand and shake it.

"I'm just doin' the rounds, checking everyone out." My eyes dart towards him fast. "Everything!" He quickly corrects himself. "Everything." He seems to be Irish judging by his accent.