kiss kiss fall in love. miya atsumu

atsumu is 12 when he comes to the conclusion that he's bisexual.

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atsumu is 12 when he comes to the conclusion that he's bisexual.

he comes to the conclusion in the middle of the night he imagined kissing ojiro aran, his neighbor, for the nth time, after having yet another daydream about how lovely it would be to date shimizu kiyoko, his math tutor. despite how much he tried to stop them, tears began streaming down his face that night. he was supposed to like girls! and girls only! this could not be happening.

he tried to stay quiet as he cried but he couldn't help the hiccups and whimpers that escaped him. within a few minutes he was in the bottom bunk with his twin, osamu hugging him tightly and running his hand up and down the crying twins back to comfort him.

atsumu remembers stuttering and stammering what was wrong through the tears running down his face at a rapid speed. he remembers osamu pulling him closer and telling him that it was okay, that it didn't change anything, that he was still atsumu.

"but..." atsumu sniffled, "but aren't i supposed to only like girls?"

osamu, ever the wise, gave him a reassuring, "you can like whoever you want, tsum,"

"really?"

"yeah!" osamu gave him another smile, this time happier, "whoever you want! as long as they're a nice person," he gently teased, pointing a finger at his brother.

(name) is a nice person, was the first thought that came to mind, but atsumu didn't dare say it out loud.

"now stop crying, you look dumb,"

atsumu stuck his tongue out and gave a weak punch to osamu's arm, "you look dumb,"

osamu giggled at the weak comeback, atsumu doing the same

atsumu slept in osamu's bunk that night.

the week after, atsumu told his and osamu's best friends, ginjima and kosaku, while locking pinkies with his twin behind his back. the pessimistic part of atsumu (the bigger one) was sure they were gonna hate him and never talk to him again. but the response he got was far from that; they ended up cuddling on the couch under a bunch of blankets in ginjima's living room. ginjima busy wiping atsumu's tears away and calming him down, while kosaku and osamu made a fort and found all their favorite movies.

telling their parents was the hardest and osamu knew that, so he made sure he was holding atsumu's hand as tightly as he could to give his twin more comfort. osamu was positive their parents would accept his sexuality.

atsumu, however, was not. he had made the mistake of telling osamu he was fine and therefore had to sleep in his own bunk the night before leaving much room for overthinking.

the room got uncomfortably hot for atsumu as soon as their parents sat down at the dining table like he had asked them to.

"i'm..." atsumu began, throat tightening up as well as his grip on osamu' hand. atsumu closed his eyes forcefully. the words they're gonna hate me repeated in his head. "i'm..." the words kept getting stuck in his throat.

"you're what, sweetheart?" their mom asked in the tone she always had when one of her kids seemed choked up.

osamu leaned in to whisper in atsumu's ear, "you don't have to tell them, you can wait,"

atsumu shook his head, "i wanna do it," he whispered back, letting go of osamu's hand, "i'm bi," he muttered, avoiding eye contact.

"what?" it was their dads turn to speak, "atsumu, you know how we feel about mumbling,"

osamu leaned closer again to whisper into atsumu's ear, "do you want me to say it?"

atsumu shook his head without saying anything. he wanted to do it himself - it wouldn't feel right of osamu did it for him. osamu nodded and leaned back, knee bumping into atsumu's on purpose.

after clearing his throat, atsumu took in a deep breath before speaking, gathering the smudges of confidence he had in the moment, "i'm bisexual,"

the silence that fell over the room made atsumu want to hide away and cry. he closed his eyes, not wanting to see his parents' disgusted faces and to stop the tears that were close to falling but before he could stop it the tears made their way down his cheeks.. the words they hate me repeated themselves over and over again in his head. he remained frozen in his seat until he felt someone wipe his tears away. at first he thought it was osamu, but the hands felt rougher. atsumu slowly opened his eyes and through the tears he made out his dad's kind face.

"it's okay, atsumu," his dad rubbed his back to comfort him (the same way osamu had done).

"you... you don't hate me?" atsumu whispered, tears still running down his face.

"oh, tsumie," his mom stood up and walked over to the boys, "we could never hate you, okay." she said, taking her son's hands in hers and pressing a few loving kisses to them.

that night atsumu and osamu slept on the couches in the living room (their parents went to sleep in their bed, and didn't want to move them), after a long evening of watching atsumu' favorite movies and eating take out.

"'samu?" atsumu whispered, twenty minutes after midnight.

"yeah?"

"thank you,"

"'s no problem, 'tsumu,"

glancing over at his brother's sleeping body, atsumu smiled softly, closing his own eyes after. he couldn't remember the last time he slept that well.