miya atsumu x gn!reader
atsumu has loved you for a decade.
tags & warning...... a bit of internalized homophobia, coming out (positive response!!!!), ooc atsumu at times hngfhf, mc is described as pretty once! minimal swearing, prolly ooc suna as we...
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atsumu is 14 when he's sure he's in love with you.
atsumu didn't know much about love nor did he care much about it.
he had never been in love. sure, there had been crushes: like shimizu kiyoko and ojiro aran, but they never lasted longer than a few months. the one he's had on you, however, has lasted for 4 years and is still in motion, but he wasn't sure if it was love or if he just found you cool.
he became sure that day a carnival was in town. their parents had taken him and osamu, and after trying a bunch of rides and eating very overpriced and unhealthy foods, osamu had spotted you and waved you over.
you were with your dad's family, atsumu learned. "hi 'samu," you pulled your best friend in for a hug, doing the same to atsumu afterwards "hi atsu,"
atsu. you only ever called him tsum, never atsumu, or 'tsumu, or even mumu like ginjima did when he wanted to tease him. it made his heart beat faster than it should and left him dizzy (but he would never admit it and when osamu looks at him with a knowing smile he gets the finger).
he didn't acknowledge you after you pulled away from the hug, only sparing you a glance when you looked away and listened to the conversation your dad had with his parents. you looked pretty. the dark green summer jacket you wore suited you, it made your eyes standout. atsumu got an elbow to the side, followed by a snicker when he groaned quietly in pain.
"you're staring," osamu looked annoyingly smug, and atsumu wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his stupid face.
"no, i'm not," atsumu stuffed both his hands in the pockets of his jacket, purposely avoiding looking at you with a huff.
the twins parents and your family's conversation continued, leaving you, osamu and atsumu to go on rides by yourselves. your steps fell in sync as you walked around the park, looking for a ride. osamu pointed at a teacup ride and pulled you with him by your wrist, you doing the same to atsumu so he didn't fall behind. atsumu's feet moved on their own as you pulled him along, his eyes glued to your fingers curling around his slender wrist. atsumu could see the patches of blue nail polish that decorated your nails - your little cousin was responsible for that, he remembered, overhearing your talk about with osamu the other day.
atsumu sat down on the opposite side from you, smiling awkwardly when you made eye contact.
"you good, atsu?" you asked him, taking notice of his awkwardness and his stiff body.
"yeah," he replied with faux confidence. if he was honest, he wasn't good with spinning.
osamu snickered, "he's lying. he threw up the last time we went on a ride like this,"
"'samu, you pig!" atsumu was quick to yell, gathering attention from a few bystanders. you laughed and osamu snickered. atsumu reassured you he was gonna be fine when you asked again with a giggle, the ride starting right after, making atsumu tense up, hands gripping the speed control tightly.
the wind felt nice running through his hair and hitting his cheeks, but he could barely open his eyes. as the ride continued, osamu and you fighting to control the speed. atsumu forced his eyes to open completely when he remembered his dizziness always got worse if his eyes were closed. his mothers words of finding something to focus his attention on if he ever got dizzy echoed in his head. he looked straight ahead, seeing you with a wide and beautiful smile, looking happy and free as ever. atsumu was sure everything seemed to slow down as you laughed happily.
the sight was one of the most beautiful atsumu had ever seen.
his hand subconsciously moved to grab yours. you had given it a squeeze in return without looking at him. atsumu felt like he was on fire. your touch sendt sparks through him.
you had held his hand once before - when you were thirteen and atsumu had gone to cross the road without looking and almost gotten driven over by a car. you had teased him by taking his hands and asking if he needed supervision. atsumu had given everything to keep himself from blushing up a storm.
is this what love feels like? he asked himself, eyes glued to you as you laughed and smiled without a care. his heart was pounding, his body was on fire, and his stomach was filled with butterflies.
atsumu didn't know much about love, but from what he's read in books and seen in movies, this is what it feels like.
