Only Love

Chapter 12

Perrie's POV:

This is the strangest feeling I've ever had. Usually, when something like this would happen, I would break down completely or have a slight panic attack. But right now, it's like I'm numb.

Not in the way that I didn't feel anything, but I felt like nothing was happening. It felt like I was in some kind of daze.

I don't know how long I was in this state, but the sound of my door slamming shut definitely got me out of it. When I look up, Jesy is walking towards me at a fast pace.

"Omg, Pez, are you okay?" Her words don't quite register in my brain and when I don't answer her, Jesy just pulls me in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I really didn't think Jade would do this. I honestly thought she was starting to fall..."

"Don't you dare say it, Jes. Just let me believe that I was being extremely delusional and that there was never a chance Jade and I were ever going to be together."

I have no idea where all those words came from, but they were the truth. If I could just keep believing that I was being delusional, then I just had myself to blame and I could just start getting over Jade.

If other people could see Jade falling for me too, then it means that there is a chance, even if it's just a tiny one, that I can get to call Jade mine one day.

"It doesn't matter what her feelings are, Pez. She knew yours and she still did all the things she did. I never thought I would say this, but if Jade was your real friend, she would have considered your feelings more often."

At Jesy's words, it feels like my breath gets stuck in my throat. I don't want it to be true, but I know that she's right. Jade was just thinking about herself this whole time.

"The last few weeks, it really felt like we were getting somewhere. It was starting to feel like she genuinely wanted to be with me, but you're right. She knew all along that Jed was going to come back, so she just used me to the max before he got here."

My best friend nods her head and pulls me in for another hug. "She doesn't deserve you."

"I need you to promise me something," I say as I return her hug. "Sure, anything for you, babe."

"Don't treat Jade differently. I know that you think that she's in the wrong, but I can't and won't be the reason that you guys don't get along anymore. Plus, it would ruin the band and we can't have that."

Jes pulls away from me and looks at me disbelievingly. "You're kidding me, right? She broke your heart completely and I don't get to be mad at her for that?"

"I knew this was going to happen all along, Jes. I was prepared for something like this, it still hurt, but I knew it was coming.

She didn't break me like Zayn did, okay?"

Jesy looks at the ground and shakes her head slightly. "Jes, look at me," I say as I lift her chin up.

"I'm okay. I'm not going down that road again, you got it? I don't think I can face Jade right now, but after our break, I'll try to act as normal as possible towards her."

"You are going to be okay?" Jesy asks in a choked voice.

"I am, I promise."

I know that Jesy was affected a lot by my behaviour after my breakup with Zayn. It was so unexpected for me that I went down hard, I started to eat less and in general, I was just a toned-down version of myself.

The other girls always stayed close to me and tried to be there for me as much as possible, but the first months were hard on all of us.

"Okay, good. Why don't we get out of here for our break? Go on a little holiday?"

"Actually... I think I'm going to go to Manchester."

"Manchester?" Jesy asks, confused.

"Yeah, with Alex. I still love him no matter what and I don't want to lose him as a friend."

Jade's POV:

This was truly going to be the best party I have ever thrown. It took me a long time to decide on the theme, but I couldn't be happier about it.

I look at myself one more time in the mirror and nod happily. My entrance is going to be insane. I hope everyone likes it.

As I walk out, all of my friends' phones are on my face and it feels like I'm really Diana Ross for a moment.

When I've made my big entrance, I start to look around for my friends. I can't wait to see how they are all looking.

When my eyes land on Leigh, I start running over to her instantly. "Oh my god, Leigh, you look absolutely amazing!!"

I start animatedly talking to my best friend about how excited I am about the party and how good everyone looks when two arms wrap around my waist.

"Hey babe, you look amazing." My smile lightly falls when I realize it isn't Perrie behind me but Jed. I quickly recover, though and turn around in his arms.

"Not so bad yourself," I say, winking before pecking his lips.

"Hey Leigh, have you seen Jes and Pez?" I ask casually, but to be honest, I'm totally craving the blonde. I haven't seen or heard from her since our break started and I can't deny that I miss her like crazy.

"Yeah, I saw Jes somewhere in the crowd, but I haven't seen Pez yet. Why don't we go look for them?" The brunette suggests and lets go of Andre's hand to lead the way for me.

I also let go of Jed and follow Leigh through the crowd. Literally every person I pass wishes me a happy birthday or stops me to say I look gorgeous. It's always at this point that I regret throwing a birthday party for just me. You are literally obliged to talk to everyone and make sure you divide your time.

Right now, I only want to spend my time with Perrie and catch up.

A few seconds later, Jesy comes into view looking hot as fuck. The thing to best describe her outfit would be a wolf whistle.

"Jesmindaa, looking fine." I say, making her finally notice us. "Oh my god, babes, you guys look flawless. Jade, great party girl!" She says enthusiastically.

I look around her but don't see our blonde bandmate anywhere. Should I ask where she is? Maybe she's just going to the bathroom, or maybe, she just hasn't arrived yet. I should just wait a little more, she's probably somewhere in the crowd already, but there are just loads of people.

An hour, 36 conversations and 4 glasses of wine later, I still haven't seen Perrie anywhere. I decide to go back to Jesy and ask her if she knows where the blonde is.

I honestly can't wait to see what she looks like tonight. A voice inside my head tells me I'll like her outfit no matter what. "JEESSSS!" I shout when I see the ginger.

She turns around and starts laughing when she sees how pissed I already am. "How many bevvies have you had already?" She asks teasingly.

"Doesn't matter! Where is Pezzzzz?" I slur.

Jesy immediately straightens up at the question and looks at me seriously. "She's spending her break in Manchester, Jade."

"What? Why?" My head starts spinning slightly at the strange information combined with the alcohol.

"She's staying with Alex."

At those words, my stomach starts turning and I have to run to the toilet, where I start vomiting uncontrollably.