Only Love

Chapter 15

Jade's POV:

I hear Leigh's footsteps walking to our room, but only seconds later, she's already coming back.

"Forgot something?" I ask as I turn around, but my breath catches in my throat at the sight of concerned blue eyes in front of me.

Quickly swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I try to play it cool. "What are you doing up, babe? Not hungover, I hope?"

The blonde just shakes her head and walks towards me, engulfing me in a tight hug. Her sweet vanilla scent invades my nostrils while my body instantly relaxes a little bit.

"I heard you talking to Leigh." And my relaxed state goes flying out the door at that. I pull away from Perrie and look at her with wide eyes. "Oh god."

My breathing starts to pick up and I don't know how to behave. What is a person supposed to answer to that? 'Ow yeah, so you know I love you?'

"Hey, calm down." The blonde says as she caresses my bare arms. "I just want you to know. If you want to talk about, you know... your uhm, eating disorder? What I mean is, I'm here if you need someone."

Suddenly it all clicks a little. Perrie didn't hug me because she heard me confess my feelings towards her. She's still clueless. Or so I hope.

"Ow, uhm, yeah," I say, awkwardly scratching the back of my neck. The blonde's soft hands go to my shoulders and softly push me down on the couch before she sits down beside me.

"I'm not going to force you, Jade. But I'm still worried." Right then, I make the big mistake of looking into her eyes. She's looking at me with something I have never seen in her eyes before.

My favourite pair of blue eyes are filled with tears and don't have that typical look of pity. Her eyes show a combination of desperation, worry and a lot of things I can't decipher.

"Okay... So, here goes nothing." I mumble more to myself than to Perrie, but I'm pretty sure she still heard it.

"Do you remember when I wrote These Four Walls?" I asked dumbly because I'm pretty sure she remembers.

"Of course I do, Jade. It absolutely broke my heart to see you so vulnerable." Her beautiful voice cracks a little at the end of that sentence.

"Please don't tell me your feeling as bad as you did in the period you wrote that song about?" Perrie's voice sounds so small and pleading.

The lump in my throat is growing at every sentence she says and I can't bring myself to talk. I don't know why or how this is happening, but it feels physically impossible to get a word out.

Her blue eyes keep staring at me intently, waiting for me to say something. "Please tell me you're not going down that road again? Please, Jade. I can't handle seeing you like this in pain. You almost died back then. You can't go there again. You just can't."

The blonde's voice trails off towards the end and by now, she was sobbing while I tried to choke out anything. Why couldn't I fucking say anything!?

I was starting to get frustrated at myself, which didn't help my speech one bit. For god's sake, Jade. She is waiting for an answer.

"Jade?" Her voice seems further away than before, but I can't even look at her anymore. My gaze is focused firmly on my hands as I desperately try to say something.

"Babe, calm down." I can't really focus on her voice. There's too much going on. "Look at me, Jade."

Suddenly, I see two paler hands grab mine, so I try to focus on the warmth of them. There are other movements around me, but it all seems blurry and I can't focus my eyes on it.