Restricted Memories - SKZ School AU

21.

At this point, Jiwon is losing her mind. What's her schedule? She has no clue. She'd forgot her chemistry book for class today, she threw in dry cleaned clothes into the laundry, messed up in cooking food for herself home alone, spilled water everywhere. She was way too moody. She was just too close before the volcano in her would erupt.

This day was just horrendous.

Slumped in a chair, Jiwon couldn't open her eyes. She was too tired for today, hoping that after a long nap, she'll be all fine. She would be welcomed back into a safe warm house filled with the cooking of SKZ, the loud happiness with the boys, which would put her back in her place.

Putting her back in her little comfort space.

But no.

Jiwon woke up to an empty house once again.

She was so bored. So close to losing her mind.

She looked around the house before she grabbed her keys and went out the door. The world seemed so small. She stared at the sky, as giant fluffy clouds lurked over her. She looked around, noticing that near the corner of a street was a cafe. And then straight across was a bus stop.

She went in the small cafe, an instant smell of coffee hitting her nose as the cafe looked extra comfortable and warm like a family to her. The soft jazzy music played as she came up to the counter. A girl popped up from under as she adjusted her braids before smiling at Jiwon.

"Hello! I'm Lily. Nice to meet you, what would you like today?"

"Ice Americano." Jiwon replied with no hesitation. Her heart dropped as she realized what she had just said. Ice Americano....Hyunjin....Her eyes turned sad as she remembered how she had yelled at the boys the other day.

"8 cups of coffee too, please."

She sat down by the window as she stared at the sky. It was a spectacular view. The bright sky, the fluffy clouds, the rays of sunlight. Everything felt so nice, and warm.

But how could something so pretty hold on to something this bad?

This bad like me.....

The bell dinged twice as Lily smiled towards me. "Your coffee is ready! The total is 18.88 dollars."

"Thank you Lily. I hope you have a good day."

I grabbed the coffee tray and turned around before Lily spoke.

"I hope you have a good day too. I hope you know that your smile brightens my day."

I smiled before pushing the coffee door open, the little bell chiming once again to my ears.

I had a decision of visiting the boys in their studio or their dorms but I didn't know how to face them. I could feel myself getting awkward in front of them. I was scared of saying something wrong, causing the atmosphere to be tense again. I was scared of facing them, I was scared of getting questions I don't know how to answer, I was scared of everything.

Everything.

I'm not strong, aren't I?

I stood infront of their studio building, trembling as a large gust of wind blew towards me like it wanted to throw me away. I took a deep breath as I wanted to walk in like a proud sister visiting her brother and her friends. I couldn't, though.

I pulled out my phone, staring at the lock screen as it turned 12. 12 PM was their lunch break. I quickly turned away as I heard footsteps and laughter coming from behind me. I let out a breathe as I watched them laugh happily, on top of each other like a small hurdle of kids.