The Changing Lights by lazywonderland

chapter eighteen

The weather as Harry boarded the Hogwarts Express Saturday morning was cruelly indifferent to his inner turmoil: the sky was a uniform, pellucid blue that reflected itself merrily in the dark windows of the train. Nor was there any hint of clouds - just the relentless glare of a winter sun, making the snow on the ground glimmer so brightly Harry had to look away lest he go blind.

He, Ron, and Hermione found a compartment near the back of the train. Ginny was, according to Hermione, sitting somewhere with Dean; Harry couldn't quite figure out how he felt about this information, and it took several minutes for him to realize this was because he didn't have all that many feelings about it. There was some part of him which was glad Ginny and Dean had found their way back to one another, happy just to know that Ginny was happy, that she'd moved on. But a much larger part of him was not focused on Ginny at all, but rather the realisation that he, too, had so thoroughly moved on.

Of course Ginny's interest in other men wouldn't bother him anymore. Why should it? Why should it, when the whole of Harry's attention lately had been on Draco Malfoy?

With their luggage stored overhead, Ron and Hermione took a seat opposite Harry, who rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window and looked wistfully out at the landscape as they were carried out of Hogsmeade station. The altercation from the night before had not stopped replaying in his head since the moment he'd left the Slytherin dungeons, and he was quite sure that, if this kept up, he would go utterly mad by the time they reached London.

Normally, Hermione would have already buried her nose in a book by the time they were ten minutes out of Hogsmeade, but today, both she and Ron kept exchanging covert glances that Harry was very much aware of, but didn't bother mentioning. He'd gotten used to this over the years - Ron and Hermione's silent form of communication in his presence, particularly when they were preparing to broach a topic they planned to tag-team.

"Harry?" Hermione ventured softly. Without moving his head from the window, he looked over at her. "You've been very quiet today. Did something happen?"

He was silent for a moment, contemplating his answer. In the end, he pushed himself off the window and regaled them with the whole unhappy tale, finishing with the hex Malfoy had thrown at him before screeching at Harry to leave. Hermione looked troubled and Ron disturbed.

"Well ... it was bound to happen eventually, right?" Ron tried, apparently of the mindset that this was a comforting thing to say. Hermione squawked at him indignantly and smacked his arm. Harry, to his own immense surprise, managed a small smile.

"S'pose he's right, though, isn't he?" he said miserably, slumping back against his seat. "It's me and Malfoy. We were gonna fight sooner or later."

"First of all," Hermione said pointedly, once again shooting a nasty look at Ron, "even the best of friends fight now and then, something I would think you two might remember from the first couple of months we spent hunting Horcruxes and sniping at one another." Ron's face coloured deeply and he pouted. Harry, in spite of himself, laughed. "Second, there is no rule saying you and Malfoy have to fight, Harry. Clearly, seeing as you two have fallen into ... some sort of relationship, things are not as they once were. Maybe what you mean to say is that you and Malfoy have a rocky history, and something was bound to come up at some point on which the two of you disagree, or at the very least a sore subject. One argument certainly does not mean you have to stop seeing each other. Maybe over the holidays he'll have a chance to cool down, and when we come back you can talk to him about it again."

Harry did not think much of this suggestion - the holidays seemed suddenly years long, and it was with an ache in the pit of his stomach that he thought about how much time lay ahead of him where he wouldn't be able to speak to Malfoy, to at least talk this over.