The Changing Lights by lazywonderland

chapter twenty six

Saturday, 13 March 1999 - Two Months Pregnant

i.

It was a rare occasion when Draco was found alone in the Slytherin common room anymore. For the most part, he, Harry, Weasley, and Granger spent their free time in the library studying for their rapidly-approaching N.E.W.Ts; when they weren't doing that, Draco sometimes blatantly sat with them in the Gryffindor common room. Harry had taken to glaring at anyone who looked like they might make a comment, and even Weasley had snapped at someone whose name Draco didn't know, telling them to get lost when they'd opened their mouths to say something.

Yet this Saturday morning did find Draco alone in the Slytherin common room, because Harry had woken early for Quidditch practice. Had it been the Gryffindor common room, Draco knew he would have dealt with staring and sniggering and possibly even some very lewd comments; however, seeing as this was a bunch of Slytherins, what Draco got instead was isolation. Like he had contracted some sort of communicable disease, every last one of his housemates gave him a wide berth, looking at him only when they thought he wasn't looking, and otherwise pretending he simply did not exist. And this was fine - preferable, in fact. This was the way he had been raised, and this was what he knew how to deal with. Ostracization, not confrontation.

When Pansy sat down next to him, he pitched a sigh that could not be held in.

"Draco," she said stiffly. Draco waited a moment, sure that if he kept her waiting on a response she would simply give up and leave, but that was not Pansy. Pansy was, intellectually-speaking, dumber than a bag of bezoars, but she wasn't stupid. She said nothing else, merely sat there looking at him, and finally, with a click of his tongue, Draco turned to her.

"Can I help you?" he said, lifting a single eyebrow pointedly.

"We haven't spoken in a while."

"I'd noticed," said Draco tightly. "Is there something you want?"

She shrugged. It was inelegant. It was honest.

Draco sighed.

"Look, Pansy, I -"

"I'm sorry," Pansy said, cutting him off. He stopped with his mouth still half-open and saw a blush staining her cheeks. "That is, I ... I should have let you explain things to me instead of ..." She trailed off, looking hopeless in a way he didn't usually see her. Pansy might have been on the lower end of the intelligence quota, but she'd been raised never to appear at such a loss for words. The fact that she was now said what her words could not.

It helped, but it didn't erase Draco's spite entirely. "Instead of abandoning me?" he said lightly. "So, what, you're feeling guilty now? Or is it just that you're bored and want my company again?"

"I do feel guilty, but I'm not doing this because I'm bored, Draco. You're ... you were one of my best friends. My best friend, actually. I was hoping we could try and talk this out."

Draco's tongue found the side of his cheek, mulling her words over, until finally he snapped his book shut and turned his full attention to her. "I'm sorry, Pansy," he said, and saw the colour drain from her face. "You'll have to do better than that."

He stood up and left her there, leaving the unbearable atmosphere of the Slytherin common room for the Great Hall and some strong black tea.

ii.

The next time Pansy accosted him was that afternoon in the library.

He was sitting with Granger.

Harry and Weasley were out on the pitch still, and he and Granger had their Potions textbooks open with an array of notes spread out over the table. Pansy sat down next to him, across from Granger, who for her part looked thoroughly speechless for once in her life.