I stayed with Noel for a couple more weeks and we had fun, but it wasn't like it had been at the beginning of the summer. It just felt different. Probably because we both knew our time together was coming to an end. Neither of us spoke of it though. I knew he was supposed to go back to London in September, but I wasn't sure exactly when in September. I felt a sense of dread as the days passed and September 1st was now only a week away.
Even though I knew from the beginning me and him would never end up together, it still fucking hurt when the thought that I probably would never see him again crossed my mind. I had fallen in love with him and he had become my best friend. I was going to miss him so much.
As each day passed, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and I wanted to know if he was feeling it too. The urge grew and grew until one night, as we were having sex, I blurted it out just after we orgasmed.
"I love you." I said as I looked into his eyes. He pulled out and laid next to me. He didn't say anything and that made me feel terrible. I knew he loved me though and I wanted to hear him say it.
"Tell me how you feel." I said softly.
He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. I sat up too.
"Noel. Talk to me." I tried again.
He turned his body and looked into my eyes.
"I think we're done." He said.
"Noel, I love you." I said.
"I'm going back to London next week." He said.
"Tell me you're feeling this too. Tell me you love me." I said.
He got out of bed and pulled his boxers on. I followed him as he walked out of the room, down the stairs, and into the kitchen. He got a glass of water and took a sip then looked at me.
"Sarah. I like you and we've had alot of fun, but this is over." He said.
I knew it was going to happen eventually, but to actually hear him say the words broke my fucking heart.
"We still have time." I said.
"Nah, I think it's best if we end this right now." He said and set the glass down on the counter.
"So that's it?" I asked.
"I dunno what ya want me to say." He said and avoided eye contact.
I reached out and put my hand onto his chest. His eyes met mine.
"Tell me you love me." I said, almost pleading him.
"I can't do that." He said then looked away.
"I didn't think it would end this way." I said.
"It's the way it has to be." He said coldly.
"Ok." I said and turned and walked back to his room. I gathered up all my stuff and stuffed it into my bag. I looked around the room and sighed then walked back to the kitchen. Noel stared at me as I walked over to him. I really wanted to hug him tightly and kiss him goodbye, but he was giving off a very closed off vibe, so I just said, "Goodbye Noel."
He looked into my eyes then finally answered.
"Goodbye." He said.
I turned and quickly walked to the door and pushed it open. I stepped out of the house and closed the door behind me. I took about two steps before the tears started falling. I wiped my eyes and kept walking until I heard a voice.
"Everything ok?"
I looked over and saw Jackson walking towards me.
"What the fuck is he doing here?." I groaned to myself.
"Are you ok?" He asked as he walked up to me.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I thought you'd be gone by now." I said.
"I decided to stay a little longer, but I'm actually leaving today." He said.
We looked at each other then he spoke again.
"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked with concern in his eyes.
"I'm fine." I forced a smile.
"Ok." He gave me a small smile and I turned and walked down the street.
I walked until I reached a small gas station on the corner. I ordered an Uber and stood waiting as I tried not to cry.
