Dishonourable Discharge: Grace Augustine

58

Ivory sat on the steps of Site Twenty Six staring up at the stars. She pulled Norm's jacket which she had taken from the hook near the door tighter around herself. The woman struggled to tug the sleeves down, she was a head taller than Norm and although his jacket fit her body it stopped halfway up her arms giving her the look of a half skinned rabbit. She shut her eyes, imagining Olivia sat beside her, her bright green eyes wide at the sight of Polyphemus. Ivory swallowed hard, squeezing her eyes more tightly closed as she felt a tear escaping and snaking its way down her cheek. It had been a long time since she had sneaked out at night with Olivia to look at the stars and yet she still hadn't accepted the fact that it could never happen again.

A hand touched Ivory's shoulder and she jumped. "Olivia?" She opened her eyes abruptly, grimacing in disgust as another tear escaped.

"It's just me." Grace sat down beside Ivory, wrapping her arms around her knees. "What's the matter?" She asked as she caught sight of the tears glinting on the other woman's cheeks beneath the clear glass of the exopack.

Ivory closed her eyes again. "It should have been me." Her voice was rough like it hurt her to mention it.

It shouldn't have been. Grace felt sick with herself for being almost glad that someone was dead but she couldn't imagine her life without Ivy anymore. She had been so determined to hate her, chalking her down as another trigger happy moron. All of her plans had fallen apart  when Ivy had sassed her upon meeting her for the first time. Grace couldn't help it, the sight of the younger woman carrying around the ridiculously spoiled cat and the sheath of plants that Ivory had drawn for her when she couldn't find any references in her books had destroyed any chances of hatred. "It shouldn't have been. It shouldn't have been Olivia either but that doesn't mean it should have been you."

"I just... I miss her."

"I know. But she'd feel the exact same as you if she was in your position. If you were dead she'd be here wishing that it had been her instead. Wanting to be in her place won't change what's happened." Grace pulled a red curl out of the strap of her exopack. "Olivia... loved you didn't she?"

"Mmm."

"Then she wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life making yourself miserable over her. You can't waste your life like that. Not thinking about her constantly isn't betraying her memory. You miss her, I get that, but you can't  make decisions based off of her forever."

"I don't want to help the Na'vi just because of Olivia. I want to help them because I don't want innocent people to die. And I want to help them because you care about them. You're stuck with me now so if you care about something I care about it as well."

Grace smiled. "Does that mean I've got to care about Waylon Jennings' hideous caterwauling?"

Ivory snorted. "Would saying something even remotely sentimental kill you?"

"Yes." Grace said immediately. "Thank you."

Ivory shifted closer to her girlfriend, resting her head on Grace's shoulder.

"Are you cold?"

"Mhm."

"Come on Doll, let's get back to bed."

Ivory got up and followed Grace back inside, pausing to hang up Norm's jacket and her exopack.

The two women crept quietly back to their bedroom.

"Scoot up Tig." Ivory murmured to the cat who had spread himself out right in the middle of the bed. The cat shifted begrudgingly to the bottom as Ivory slid into bed.

"Ivy?" The redhead whispered, pulling the duvet over herself.

"What?"

"I love you."

Ivory blinked in surprise. "I love you too."

Grace rolled onto her side so that she was pressed against Ivory's back and slid her arms around her waist. "Really?" She asked in disbelief as Tigger shot back up the bed and positioned himself so that he was laying across both Grace and Ivory.

Ivory shrugged. "He felt left out, leave him be."

Grace was quiet for a moment. "I meant what I said."

"I know." Ivory twisted around with difficulty as Tigger clung on insistently. She cupped Grace's cheek and kissed her.