Dishonourable Discharge: Grace Augustine

86

Ivory looked out of the window in silence as the sun slid lower in the sky, her hands wrapped tightly around a steaming mug of coffee. The woman barely noticed as the skin on her palms and fingertips turned an angry red.

"Hey," Grace's tone was uncertain as she let the door of the lab swing shut behind her.

Ivory made a quiet noise of acknowledgement.

"I didn't cheat."

Ivory tore her gaze away from the sunset and looked at Grace.

The redhead's eyes were fixed firmly on her girlfriend. "I didn't cheat." Grace repeated earnestly, her voice steady. "I don't know how it happened and nor does anyone else."

Ivory exhaled slowly. "I believe you. It's just... a lot to take in."

"I know. It's a lot for me to take in too, I'm away for a few years and I come back and I've got a daughter who I didn't even know existed until today." Grace sank into the chair next to Ivory and raked a hand through her now tangled red curls. "I don't know how it happened," the woman repeated. "My avatar just... developed her. When it was in storage. Max was monitoring it and everything was normal until one morning it just wasn't."

Ivory bit her lip. "What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. I want to be in her life obviously but am I even cut out to be a parent? I can't be with her all the time in my avatar, it's just not sustainable. And she can't be here all the time either, she can breathe oxygen to an extent but she'll have to go back outside eventually. I just- after the school I don't trust myself. I can't go through that pain again. If anything happened to her- to my own daughter- it would kill me."

The dark haired woman was silent for a moment. "Grace you can't let what happened at the school stop you from having a relationship with your child. The school wasn't your fault, you did everything you could to protect them and I know I've told you this before but that's because you need to hear it. You can't go the rest of your life blaming yourself, it's not healthy. Blaming yourself and torturing yourself isn't going to bring any of them back. It's time for you to move on with your life and forgive yourself. You don't need to forget any of what happened but you need to get over the fear and the guilt. Use your time and energy for something that's going to have a positive impact, get to know your daughter and be in her life." Ivory paused. "And you can't leave it to Jake to raise her properly, she needs someone to teach her something other than swear words," she cracked a small smile.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Grace asked, her brown eyes searching.

"Yes. I'm shocked, obviously, but I'm not going to begrudge you a relationship with your daughter. Do what you need to do, it's your child and your choices, not mine."

"I still don't really believe it. If she didn't look so much like me I'd have thought that Jake was trying to trick me."

"She's got your nose."

"She does doesn't she," a smile that Ivory had only ever seen when she was watching Grace play with the Na'vi children appeared on her face.

Ivory drained the last of her coffee and stood up. "So what are you going to do now?"

Grace thought for a moment. "I think I'm going to go get some sleep and then go back out in the morning and see Kiri properly."

Ivory nodded. "I'll give you some space tomorrow then. I'm going stay here and get a proper look around base and clean our room up a bit, Max did his best but there's about thirty dust bunnies under the bed and Tigger keeps trying to eat them whenever I take my eyes off him."

"Thanks doll." Grace caught hold of her girlfriend by the collar and pulled her down for a kiss.

A/N: Sorry about the time between updates, I'm working multiple jobs so they're eating up a lot of my time.