War of the Heart

Arcane

They were just small slip-ups. Little mistakes. Like when Merari asked Emilee whether she was okay and Arcane aggressively responded that she was fine, people could stop asking that. The time she was forced to attend a funeral and told a wailing mourner to get over themselves. The time Pio caught her digging through the Chèr's office, searching for one of Detruienn's poems.

'I'm fine, I swear.' She pushed away the sedative the Chèr had oh-so-kindly offered her.

'There's no shame in it. Nancy had to put me on a sedative that first night.'

'I wished you'd never stopped taking them,' muttered Arcane.

'This is exactly what I meant. You're not... coping.'

'I am coping. I am totally coping. I have been to every single appointment you arranged,' she argued.

'And what about that kid you told that the spirits were a scam?'

'I stand by what I said. Besides, see it as a test of faith. Was murdering the Eseterrians a test of faith?' She hated herself for being so mean but she couldn't stop herself. It was like somebody had staked her heart and now the wood was rotting and spoiling her heart with it.

'This is exactly what I mean. You're either fine or you're verbally attacking people like Nora.'

She'd known she hadn't heard the last of that. One morning she'd just received a letter from her father revealing her siblings had had their powers removed and were now in a religious boarding school. Nobody had bothered to warn her. Naturally Nora had paid the price.

'They were alone and scared. I should have been with them.'

'And how was a mentally unstable teenager going to help them?' he nonchalantly responded, his eyebrows slightly raised. Ellux, Arcane wanted to punch that stupid face.

'I'm fine,' she growled.

'No, you're not, Arcane.' Merari's agreement felt like a stab in the back.

'Ah, Merari, Medea, I'm glad you got my message.'

'What is this, an intervention? Were you planning this?'

Medea sighed. 'It's been coming for a long time but that doesn't mean we were planning it. Detruienn has a way of getting into people's heads and... I mean, I knew about them, but Merari saw the breakdown I had when all the spirits essentially betrayed me.'

'Yeah, uh, that was scary because I had no clue what was going on,' admitted Merari.

Arcane crossed her arms over her chest. 'Yeah, well, no tears here. I'm fine.'

'You're not fine.'

'I am,' Arcane spat at Merari.

Merari shook her head sadly. 'I think you're so not fine that you're beyond tears. I feel it, you know. Since I became a full Eseterrian, I can sometimes feel people's emotions. It's been so bad that I'm occasionally emotionally unable to spend time with you because I'm not exactly okay either after all that happened. And... I've not heard you play the lyre at all. I think you need help.'

There was no judgement in Merari's tone, just sympathy and well-meaning concern, yet guilt spread through Arcane's guts. She'd been trying so hard to hide her struggle. She hadn't wanted anybody to worry. She hadn't wanted anybody to know she still cared about Detruienn, more so since her strange encounter with Nora. Shame pricked at her ego that had greatly diminished in recent weeks.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Arcane asked, the first tears rolling down.

Merari cast her eyes downwards. 'It felt like an invasion of privacy. And... I hoped you'd recover, for all I knew this was just regular break-up love turmoil.'