Nobody had ever died without hurting anybody. Never knew the extent to which her death affected me until I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). But that never stopped me from reminding myself of her.
"So, you have your first class today." He liked to talk in statements, but always wanted a response in return. He looked up at me as I walked into the kitchen.
"Yes. Dad." I replied.
There was only him at the dining table having his breakfast. While Mum was in her room busy getting ready for work. I made myself a cup of coffee for the day in the kitchen near the dining table. And walked back into my room and powered on my laptop for the Google meet. It was 9:00 AM. The class was about to start. This year due to pandemic, our first semester was decided to be held online. So, i hadn't seen my batchmates in person and there was no traditional Freshers meet in the presence of seniors but rather a boring set of live lectures from the faculty. It seemed as if College life was being stripped off its enjoyment. The only thing left were the classes. I wrapped the blanket around myself as I sat before the laptop for the classes.
"Hello, I am your department head." The professor continued
I kept my camera and microphone off, as all the other ninety of us did. Nobody wanted to show their morning zombie faces. After three hours of lecture, classes were over for the day.
"That is all for today, and all of your presence has been noted from the meeting member list. Thank you."
The end of the class was showered with thank yous from a collection of unfamiliar voices. I shut the laptop and got up and looked around. With nothing to do, the book shelf across my room caught my eye. Just like every day. But this time I couldn't hold myself off and stepped closer. As I looked at the contemporary romance titles on the upper levels that needed me to stand on my toes to reach, I never could fathom the façade that was built in me through those books that led me to believe that everything had a satisfactory if not a happy ending. Until Priya passed away. The ending wasn't satisfactory nor happy. Instead, it was hauntingly painful. But this revelation didn't scare me. For I have had it several months. Almost a year now. I was okay with feeling something like this although it did become sickening. But I had been gently explained by Dr. Singh that it was nothing but a side effect of my medication. Hence, I wasn't supposed to worry. So, I didn't. At least I tried not to.
I should just move the book shelf out of my room. But then again, I didn't want to. They were one of the few important things I had. At least there weren't any book here from her. I didn't know what kind of an emotional and psychological landslide it would have brought upon me. I shouldn't even think about it.
Ting! Ting! My attention diverted towards the phone. It was a WhatsApp alert.
I picked up my phone to check. It was from an unknown number, but it contained two invites for the group that read my department name with; Official and Unofficial. When I joined in, there was a message from Dr. Rajesh Das, his name was in the faculty list as the professor in English Communication. And as fate would have had it, he was also my Uncle from Mum's side. There was no fate involved actually. He was the only member in our family tree to have answered his inner calling towards teaching literature. And my family wanted to keep me under check especially after what happened last year. So, they chose the institute where he was teaching and sent me there. Dad was disinclined towards the idea of me spending time with Uncle more than I had to. But as Mum explained to him there was no alternative.
The message read:
'Greeting's freshers,
I am your English Professor and I welcome you to this Institute. As you all are in the safety of your home, and have not properly met anyone; keeping that in mind a pdf has been shared, which contains numerous plays and you are to perform any unit of your choice with a partner.'
