A piece for her.
I wish what we have would've started in another way. I wish i wasn't still attached to your hip only for the attention. You are the only person that truly makes me feel wanted and heard, and that's what i like about you.
It is not that i don't feel what i say, every time i have called you beautiful from the inside out or told you how much i love you, i have meant it, but in a way foreign to yours. Maybe if i didn't doubt myself as much, or maybe if our scenery was made of something else, i would feel what we both feel, but the way you do.
My love for you is unconditional, and of that i am certain. But i can't drain out the love i need, from the fountain of your heaven.
Your Heaven.
Your heaven to me is; the safe space you create for me. Like a soft cushion centered between a mount of twigs and weeds.
It's not the lack of love that's keeping the romantic part of our bond far from my side, it's just that perhaps my body doesn't register the spark without the touch. Or maybe if i had the touch factor you would appear in my dreams more often, still as something more of a friend, though i still cannot understand.
I want you as a lover, i want you as a friend, but the weight my body carries is longing to give my mind some power to choose a side and stop the turmoil. Aside from you, and the confusion that comes with the light you bring to my life, there are other matters making my clear judgement rain on itself and be cloudy most of its time. I can't but i crave you, i just don't know how.
And like ever we go back to the same point of uncertainty, because the blur just has some lines to it, the rest was paper after a wet sponge.
