to my darling,
you didn't reply to my previous letter, and as time goes by i can't help but worry if the image i saw of you was in fact the truth. i can bear anything but i can't bear losing you forever. it doesn't matter if you're not mine, it doesn't matter if you never talk to me again but i can't even fathom the thought of you forever gone into the skies of murky oblivion and onyx graveyards. i want to believe that you're here and that you're safe and sound.
i've given up asking about what happened before i lost all my memories and triggered this amnesia because i know all i would get in return are empty lies and saccharine reassurances that everything is 'fine' even thought its not. i've tried to jot down all i could remember before the amnesia set in on seafoam bordered pages, only to tear them and crumple them into balls. the colour of my grief is tainted with you and the golden suns that you carried with you. i've tried to piece together if the gunshots i hear are related with the loss of memories i've had but i just can't bring myself to do that. it seems like my mind has gone into a state of complete denial－it would rather drown in oceans of fogged delirium than learn to accept the truth.
maybe that's all i am－ a girl who would rather live a lie than know the truth. i don't know what to say to you this time, but i do know that my mind wants you to feed me pretty sugary lies. as for my heart, there hasn't been a single day when it didn't ache and bleed and long for you.
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a/n
i am sorry in advance for the trauma in the next chapter :,)
YOU ARE READING
to my dearest darling |✓
Historia Corta❝your honeyed velvet voice still echoes in the hollows of my bones❞ in which a girl suffers from amnesia due to the traumatic aftermath of a school shooting and writes letters to the only person she remembers through all the chaos. [weekly updates] ...
