A Kiss Is Just A Kiss (Epistolary)

016

Chantria's Point of View

Hindi ko mapigilan na mamangha habang nakatayo ako sa agos ng mga tao sa loob ng club. The floor is shaking because of the music that the loud speakers are blasting off and the jumping movement of the audiences while the band Zeus plays at the wide stage.

Kasabay ng naririnig ko na ingay sa club ay ang mabilis at malakas na tibok ng puso ko while watching Courtesy play his drums like it was just a child play for him.

Basang basa ang buhok at ang suot niyang puting sando. Well, he took off his black leather jacket just a while ago. I could see the glistening bullets of sweat on his forehead that are slowly dripping down to his neck. He is a sight to be held.

Courtesy is everything to me. He is the man of my dreams. My feelings for him started when I was in my sophomore year in high school. I met him because of Portia. Portia's brother and he were really close friends. Parati silang nasa bahay nina Portia and there was one time na I was in their house tapos dumating siya. It was my first time meeting him and it sure made me feel butterflies in my stomach.

I guess that is what we call love at first sight.

And ever since then, my feelings for him grew even more, and now here I am in my college days still admiring him like an art.

Matagal ko ng tinatago ang nararamdaman ko. Noon, pilit ko na pinipigilan ang sarili ko from wanting him. Parati kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na kung ano kami ngayon ay ayos at sapat na pero there's this feeling inside me hoping for me.

I've suppressed myself for a long time and I don't want to keep quiet anymore. I want to let him know. Kung paano ako nababaliw sa kada galaw na ginagawa niya. Kung paano bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko at kung paano nagwawala ang mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko kapag nasa malapit siya.

Thinking about me confessing to him makes me feel excited and at the same time scared. But tonight, I'll try to shake away my nervousness. For in the name of love. Pilit ko na pinipigilan ang sarili ko na ngumiti pero trinaydor ako ng mga labi ko.

"Chantria! Girl! Tumutulo na ang laway mo." Malakas na sigaw ni Portia sa akin na mayroong dala dalang dalawang baso ng alak sa tig-isang kamay niya.

"Dahan-dahan lang sa pag inom, Portia. Your kuya Jeff will be angry if naabutan ka niyang lasing." Sabi ko bago sinubukan na kunin ang isang baso kaso mabilis niyang iniwas iyon para hindi ko makuha. And all I could do was sigh.

"Come on, Chantria! Huwag ka ngang buzzkill. Here." Inabot niya sa aking ang baso niya pero mabilis akong umiling.

"Nasaan sina Shea?" I asked.

"Andoon sila, nakaupo. Alam mo naman na mga ugod ugod na iyang si Shea at Clea."

Shea and Clea was sitting at the bar counter at mukhang abala sa paguusap niya. Dalawa lang silang nakaupo doon at mukhang may sariling mundo. Wala naman ako sa sariling napatango.

Sa kasagsagan ng pag uusap namin ni Portia. Naramdaman ko na mayroong nakatingin na mga mata sa akin. Mabilis akong lumingon sa stage, hoping it was Courtesy looking at me but I was wrong.