TW: suicide, self harm
Izzies pov
It was a day like any other. Or so I thought. On a normal Friday, Casey would be right outside waiting to pick me up after school. But over the past few weeks she'd been weirdly distant. She'd return my texts hours later, miss my calls, cancel our dates. If I didn't know better, I'd think she was breaking up with me.
And I didn't know better.
At first I thought she was just busy with track but it now seemed like she'd completely dropped off the face of the planet. No Instagram posts, no stupid tweets. Absolutely nothing. It was at this point that I had enough. I called an uber and made my way to the Gardner house. I was desperate to know what the hell was going on.
Caseys pov
I rolled up my sleeve and winced in pain. Scars, new and old, were scattered across my forearm. Going back to Newton was the worst fucking mistake ever. Relentless bullying from the track team and being called a "traitor" were extremely damaging to my already cracking mental health. Every night I fell asleep to the sound of my own sobbing and I never woke up with any joy or purpose.
And of course, I didn't tell Izzie. How would I explain that I abandoned her to return to a place that didn't want me? I couldn't. I pulled my sleeve back down, letting out a heavy sigh, glancing between my phone and the letter on my desk. As expected, I got into UCLA. But I couldn't do it. I'd missed a week of school and didn't have the energy to continue living.
A framed picture of Izzie, the only reason I was alive, caught my eye.
"My love." I thought with tears forming in my eyes.
I didn't want to hurt her like this, but I couldn't live out of guilt any longer. I grabbed some paper and a pen so I could write something down:
To my family, friends and my beloved Izzie, I'm sorry I left you like this, but I can't carry on. I just need you to know that there's nothing you could have done or said. And most importantly, it isn't your fault. I love you all, please don't cry for me. I wouldn't have been happy alive.
Love n Hugs
C. Gardner
A single tear stained the page as I grabbed a razor blade and held it to my wrist. I yelled in pain as the blood hit the floor.
Izzie's pov
I let myself in with the key Elsa gave me and went towards the stairs. The first thing I heard when I got in was an ear piercing scream. Running as fast as possible, I went to Casey's room and panicked as I realised her door was locked. I looked around frantically before using a chair to smash the door open.
But I was too late.
A pool of blood was spreading around her as I screamed in horror. I ran to her and tried to check for a pulse. Denial refused to let me believe she was dead as I felt her chest and neck. There was a faint beat. Tears spilled, which hazed my vision as I dialled 911 whispering "Stay with me." Over and over again.
The ambulance got there and so did Elsa. We were both sobbing as we drove behind it to the hospital. Hours passed in that waiting room. I tried in vain to stay calm when the doctor came back out. But the solemn look on her face told me everything I needed to know.
"I'm sorry ladies, she was long gone before she got here. We tried everything, but she's in a better place."
In that moment, all emotion left my body. I was a hollow shell. Unable to feel anything. I turned and walked put of the hospital, straight faced but broken inside.
Two years passed, since her death and the funeral. But I could still hear her voice. I read the note every day. "Its not your fault." The more I read it, the less I believed it. All I wanted was to know why she did it. She still loomed over me, the lack of closure eating me alive.
"Why did you leave...?" I choked through tears.
