Goodbye for now

Rocky Roads

I jolt awake when Rio opens the front door. I had a fitful sleep. I still feel groggy. I slowly come to the realization that I didn't cook dinner. I force myself off the couch. My baby bump is now very noticeable but not so big that it gets in my way. My muscles are stiff and aching especially my feet. My lungs struggle with the effort of getting up so I pause to take a couple of slow deep breaths.

"Let me start getting dinner ready" I start sheepishly. He doesn't make any sound or confirmation that he's heard me, so I continue. "I'm sorry. I would've had dinner ready earlier but I fell asleep" still nothing as he stands with his head in the fridge biting down on his bottom lip.

Rio stops me as I'm about to turn on the stove with a pot to start cooking some spaghetti. "Nah, Nah, It's good. Go sit down. Relax or s'thing" clearing my hands and guiding me out of the kitchen with a hand on my lower back. My body takes that exact moment to send a surging painful cramp through my abdomen. I bend at the waist trying to ease the discomfort while Rio shuffles me with a new sense of urgency towards the couch "I got you" he makes soothing shushing noises as I ease myself onto the couch with a death grip hold on his hand.

Rio decided to cook dinner himself. He hands me a plate while I'm still sitting on the couch. He adjusts my position so that my feet rest on his lap. We eat in silence and I can't for the life of me think of a topic of conversation to make this any less awkward.

The clinging and clanging sounds of Rio washing the dishes are the only thing filling the silence. I made the effort to try and do them but he wouldn't let me. I collected the plates and put them in the sink then while I was distracted looking for any more dirty dishes around the house Rio swooped in, filling the sink with water and putting in the elbow grease so I just made my way back to the couch.

Rio doesn't acknowledge me when he turns on the TV nor when he shifts my position again so I can lay with my feet in his lap. He doesn't even pay attention to what's on-screen, instead, his attentions are focused on another screen. His nimble fingers tapping away at his phone. I peer over my legs trying to see his screen. A big bold "Camilla" banners the top of his screen as he sends off another message.

Camilla

I know that name. Even worse is I know that face. The face with high sharp cheekbones, plump lips and covered in at least an inch of makeup. It's the face of the woman who hung onto Rio's arm the whole night of our engagement party. She didn't leave his side so I didn't more than five words out of him before she'd raise her voice and change the subject. I know he saw the hurt on my face whenever she did that but he did nothing to stop her. "But you're the one with my ring on their finger," were his only words of comfort before rolling over and going to sleep that night. It certainly didn't help that she was wearing a trashy red and sparkly cocktail dress that shows off her ample breasts while I wore a simple summer dress.

"I-isn't that the woman who tried to sleep with you the night of our engagement party ?" He just clicks his tongue and responds "don't worry 'bout it" as he replies to a new message of hers that I'm too far away to read. I try not to let it affect me. I try not to be offended but I can't help but wonder what does she have that I don't in order to get all of his attention when I can't even get a conversation out of him.

I settle into bed after going through my nightly routine. Watching Rio as he's starting his. "How was work today?" standing there wrapped in a towel he turns back to me, away from the dresser, obviously confused by my question. I tentatively smile as I continue, "I just figured that's what normal couples ask each other."

"It was fine." It's clear he has no plans to continue the conversation by asking me the same question, so I smile gently again and reach for my book rolling over onto my left as he pulls on some sleepwear. Tucking himself into bed he calls out, "could you shut off the light," before he closing his eyes. I hadn't even finished a page yet so I sigh, slipping my book back into its place on my nightstand and do as he asked; shut off the light.

I swallow down the pang of pain in my chest when I find the kitchen empty the next morning. When I hear muffled talking I follow it to Rio's office. He sits behind a heavy dark oak desk with his burner phone to his ear.

I hold out the breakfast tray with a shaky smile on my face, my back aches from the weight of it, but Rio doesn't acknowledge me and doesn't invite me in, which for some reason hurts my feelings. My cheeks burn and I can't help it so I turn to walk away and hurry back to the kitchen before the tears brimming my eyes spillover. "I'll just... put this back in the kitchen for when you're hungry." I want to melt into nothingness. My voice shakes when I talk. Truly there are no words for the embarrassment that I feel. "You can just bring it here" with hands shaking more than I'd like them to, I carry the tray. "Put it down there," he murmurs, not looking at me.

He seems annoyed with me so I don't mention the sharp headache that I have to him. Decided to just wait it out because I'm not sure what pills could harm the baby. I really should ask my gynae about that. This headache is going to be the death of me. It hurts so much I actually feel nauseated. I let out a long groan as I pull my arms above my head to stretch the ache out of my back.