Goodbye for now

Clouded Castle

He pulls me closer to him. Forcing me to touch him. It doesn't burn. It doesn't hurt. It just feels oh so right. A hand comes up to cup my cheek. Being ever so gentle as not to disturb my bruise. Rio had always been this unshakable rock. He's always in control. Always knows what he's doing. But right now he struggles to keep his composure. He sucks in a long steady breath. Doing his best to keep himself calm.

When Jax comes jogging up the steps Rio shoots out of the chair. A sickening noise sounds from the blow that Rio gives directly to Jax's chin. "You had one fucking job" Rio screams at him almost foaming at the mouth, he's so angry. I don't get to hear more before the door slams shut. But I do notice that Jax doesn't fight back, he doesn't defend himself, he just takes everything that Rio throws at him. Like this is judgment day. This is his retribution. He's drowning in guilt. Sometimes when anger is boiling. It's best to take the lid off the pot. Otherwise, it'll just make a big ol' mess.

Then you gotta clean it up.

Rio calms down and returns inside to grab the flash drive. I'm quickly ushered into a sleek black sedan, still dressed in pajamas, Jax hops into a similarly styled car and follows closely behind us as we drive. We drive and drive and drive. At no point does Rio tell me where we're going and at no point do I ask. He looks so calm. Stoic. He's afraid of nothing as he sits up straight and steadily leads us to our destination. My protector.

The building is bustling as we walk into the foyer. There are tens of people going about their day. Some leisurely coming in. Some frantically rushing out. No one pays me or my frilly pajamas any attention. Every single one of them is in some way connected to Rio. All of them are gears in his empire. All of them are as important as the other. If just a single one falls out of place, even for just a second; everything comes crashing down.

A gorgeous woman leans with her back against a wall near the elevator bay. She eyes a man seductively as he leans in closer to hear whatever she's whispering. He confines her with a hand pressing firmly against the wall, near her head. He's obviously picking up what she's throwing down because his eyes are filled with heat and his lips pull up in a suggestive smirk. They're both covered in tattoos. Chemistry oozes off of them in waves and I feel slightly jealous of them. They look so good together. They fit together perfectly. After noticing where my eyes are pointed Rio positions himself between me and the couple. Blocking my view without saying anything to me.

Jax stands a little bit behind us and moves to stand next to me when we finally step into the elevator. Great, I'm sandwiched between the two of them. There's no escaping. I instantly take note of the five men sprinkled around the penthouse apartment. Two of them seem way too young to be anywhere near the dark side of the moon. Rio seems to know them but he doesn't acknowledge them or greet them. Feeling a little bad, I offer each of them a small wave as we pass but keep my gaze low. Nobody mentions the purple that mars my face or even so much as looks at me weird. None of the furniture from the old house is here. I don't know why I expected them to be.

This place feels so empty. It's full of gorgeous modern furniture but it lacks that homely feeling that we had once before. The smell of brand new still lingers in the air. The same smell that attacks you when you enter a furniture store. The smell we all try to get rid of as soon as we're home from shopping. I gaze around the place curiously and Rio lets me. He doesn't say anything when I press my face against the glass of the floor-to-ceiling windows and stare down at the tiny ants for people.

I wince when I notice a slight bruise forming on Jax. I squirm again when I see that Rio's knuckles are not looking too great either. I sneak another glance at his hand when I settle myself next to him on the couch. "I gotta be somewhere soon" he murmurs over to me. I'm glad he's at least warning me. It seems like lately, he's developed the habit of leaving without notice. I only nod in response. "You gon' be good?" he turns to me. Making sure to check my reaction to his words. I have a bad poker face and he knows it. If I say no would he stay? "Yeah, I'll be fine" he seems satisfied with my response because he eases off the couch, grabs his keys, and heads out.

My hands itch for something to do. Sitting still and doing nothing has become one of my worst nightmares. I head over to the kitchen only to find it fully stocked with everything we could possibly need. I decide to make everyone sandwiches seeing as it's already past lunchtime. I prepare a few glasses of juice for them too. The men take my graciousness greedily and Jax even shoots me a wink that makes me blush as I hand them over.

In the corner, I spot a dark unmoving presence. All alone. I head over with the last sandwich to who is clearly the biggest man in the apartment. I suck in a sharp breath when Mick's furious eyes meet my gaze. His face pulls down into a frown and he blatantly ignores me by turning his head away from me. I carefully eye the shiny black metal that sits tucked against his hip. Uneasiness passes through me. The two younger guys giggle to themselves while I stand there, willing my mouth to say something, willing my voice to come back to me, but end up just looking like a gulping fish.

Just like that, this giant apartment feels like it's closing in on me. I head over to the living room set up when my chest starts feeling tight. Everything's too much. It's too warm in here. The walls are too close. My breathing is too loud. My lips are too dry. I feel the anxiety attack begin to build. It has been years since I'd felt this hysterical panic and couldn't breathe. Apparently these things never fully leave you.

I need to calm down.

Nobody's hurting me.

Collapsing to the ground, I pressed my palms to the floor, not caring if it's cold and hard as my mind's starting to go fuzzy. My stomach rolls like I'm going bungee jumping, and I can't quite keep up with my train of thoughts as it barrels rapidly along the tracks. One of the young men knelt beside me, wrapping a strong hand around my bicep. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Don't ... touch ... me." I wheezed out, my voice lit with the fire of rage.