Our Best Mistake || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 7

Yesterday Aaron and I attended my second ultrasound at 18 weeks which included a roller coaster of emotions.

Good news is that we were able to make out the baby's body parts -head, hands and fingers, legs and toes- very clearly and we got the gender but I made sure to give the envelope to Garcia almost immediately.

The even better news is that there are no signs of any condition or illness to the baby.

The problem is me.

Some years back, before I transferred in the BAU, I had an accident on the job, injuring my spine. I had surgery and made a full recovery but because of its placement and scar tissue, I'll probably not have the option for an epidural. My options now are either vaginal delivery with usual painkillers that won't do much, or C-section with full anesthesia.

Aaron voted for C-section because it's going to be easier for me but I don't think that he is right on this one. It might be easier at that moment but recovery is so much harder and increases the risk of infections, future miscarriages and complications.

On the other side, vaginal delivery will be even more painful, but I really want to avoid being on the surgeon's table.

It's currently 3 am but I couldn't wait until morning so I went to Aaron's apartment. I called him on my way up so he'd wake up until I got there.

I knock on his door and he opens it almost immediately. His hair is messy, his eyes still sensitive to the light and in general seems like he just jumped out of bed

"Hi, sorry to wake you up, I know that it's late but I can't sleep and I need to ask you something" I say

"Of course" he says, letting me in
"Are you ok?" he asks

"I don't want a C-section. I actually want to avoid it at all costs" I say

"Why is that?" he asks

"Because I don't want to be opened up, because I don't want to be in bed for the next month not being able to lift even our baby, because I had traumatic experiences of recovery from past surgeries" I give him all the reason

"Ok, I get it. But can you handle it?" he asks

"That's what I wanted to ask you. From the time that you've known me, can I handle it?" I ask him

"In my opinion, you can handle anything" he answers

"Really?" I ask

"Yes" he replies immediately.

"You will be there, right?" I ask

"Of course" he answers taking my hand.
"I will be holding your hand, feeding you ice chips and trying, as much as I can, to distract you from the pain" he adds rubbing the back of my hand.
"You got this, I have no doubts" he reassures me

"I'll probably scream my lungs out and cry--"

"And that's normal. You are going to push this little human out of you. You are allowed to do anything. Don't worry, you won't scare me off" he says placing his hand on my belly.

"I'm sorry that I woke you up and came so suddenly" I say

"It's alright, that's what I'm here for" he says and I nod.
"That's why you couldn't sleep tonight?" he asks

"Yeah..." I answer and he smiles

"Come on, let's go to sleep" he says as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and leads me to his bedroom.

We lay down and we keep holding hands. But because I got emotional again, now I feel wetness on my breasts. I groan and I get up again.

"What happened?" Aaron asks