Our Best Mistake || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 11

Aaron got a 2-week leave after I gave birth, so the first 2 weeks were crazy but also amazing.

However, when he went back to work, things started to get more complicated because I was alone. He was helping as much as he could when he was here but it wasn't enough and there is no way I'm telling him that.

I don't want to make him feel like he is not enough and I hate asking for help, being a bargain.

I'm not the best mom, I'm getting tired easily and I'm crying because I feel so guilty about it. My body is still messed up, pregnancy glow is leaving me and I don't feel like myself.

I'm just tired all the time but I just try to go through it every way I can which is not really working lately.

Today, he is working until late again, like almost every day that they close a case.

As I walk out of Juliet's room, with the intercom in my hand, I hear the front door open. "Hey" he says as he sees me passing

"Hey" I say and I hand him the intercom

"I've pumped milk, it's in the fridge. If you don't need anything else--"

"Go get some sleep" he says rubbing my back

"Thanks" I say and I head to the bedroom without another word.

Of course, I didn't sleep throughout the whole night because every time she cried, I would wake up and Aaron would tell me that he's got it but I couldn't sleep until she did.

In the morning, I found him on the couch "What are you doing here?" I ask

"I live here..." he answers

"I thought that you were going to be at work" I say

"No, we won't get anything this weekend" he says and I nod.
"You want breakfast?" he asks but before I could answer, we hear Juliet

"She definitely does" I say and I go into her room.

I spent most of the day in bed. Around the afternoon, I was pumping milk again in the bedroom and I was thinking about finally taking a long and relaxing bath with candles, salts, etc, since Aaron is staying.

As I come out of the room, he was ready to come in.
"David called and suggested we'd go for a drink and watch the game tonight" he says and I started getting fed up because for one more time, my plans are screwed.

"No, you're not going" I say and he freezes

"What?" he asks surprised

"You're not going" I repeat and he just stares at me confused

"Are you feeling ok?" he asks

"No, I'm not! I've been inside this house for two months. Two months because I know that you are working and I don't want to pressure you or make you feel like you are not doing enough. But the one weekend you are for sure staying, you tell me that you are going to go out for drinks while you know that I haven't left this place since I returned from the hospital?" I ask as my eyes fill with tears. "I understand that you are working and you get tired there but you also sleep in nice hotels without cries or worries, you have time for a quiet shower and a good meal... Meanwhile, I'm breastfeeding, cleaning spit, changing diapers, singing the ABCs, walking around with Juliet so could fall asleep, making sure that she is breathing while she is asleep and all of that nonstop. I'm tired too... I'm so tired, and I need a break, Aaron. Even for a day, I need a damn break" I finally break.

He does reply.

"So today, you're going to stay here and I'm gonna go out. Her food is ready, you can feed her, you can change diapers, shower her and put her to sleep for once. Because I'm leaving" I say and without letting him reply, I grab my wallet, keys and I leave.
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