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Teacher's Need to Stop Yelling at Their Students

Trigger Warning ⚠️ : Anxiety, depression, eating disorder(anorexia nervosa, anorexia bulimia).

In my honest opinion, teachers shouldn't be able to yell at their students. Or any students for that matter.

"Why?" you may ask.

Well, it's simple, really.

For me personally, it breaks me. I have horrible anxiety so anytime someone yells at me, I go over the conversation in my head so many times that it's embedded in my brain. My depression mixed with that makes me tell myself, "You are a screw up and it's all you do." But then there's that part of me that is a little bit okay mentally and it tells me the opposite, causing it to become a war against my own mind.

When a teacher yells at me and I'm already so exhausted from crying for hours on end the night before, my eyes burn with tears. My eyes always burn from how often and how much I cry but I have to hide it from everyone with my smile and silly self.

But when a teacher yells at me during my last period, I know what comes next when I get home. I lock myself in my room and tell my friends I'll be taking a nap but in reality I cry.

I cry and cry and cry until someone in my home checks on me for whatever reason, which is usually to tell me to do the chores I haven't done all week because I've been "too lazy."

My tears morph from disappointed one's to ones that are because I am simply upset at myself and hate who I've become. Just like always, it leads back to what I'm most insecure about: my body.

From there, I stop crying for a bit and walk over to my full-length mirror. I would slowly lift up my shirt, terrified of the monster I was about to unleash.

And then I see it.

I see why I starve myself and do crunches and sit-ups on my bathroom floor for so long my spine has bruises along it. I do planks on that same floor for so long my forearms have bruises.

I saw that sliver of fat that my friend commented on and asked what I had in my shirt. I see the area where a different friend punched me just enough for me to bend over and hold myself there all day, listening to their words ring through my ears.

"Did you know gaining weight can help you pass?"

Yeah, but I'm too scared to lose all of the progress I've made.

"If you punch your stomach and stuff then you can get a v-line which makes it look like you have a dick, you know?"

I already hurt myself so much, though. And you were the one to say you thought I was cisgender and "packing."

The second I see my body in the mirror, I cry again. I cry for hours on end but I've learned how to  let the tears fall butq no one notices. Not even my mom when she hugs me and asks how my day was.

Most days I sit in my room and avoid the kitchen, knowing I'll be tempted to eat if I leave my room. I've gotten to the point where when I eat a small snack, my stomach can't handle it and it hurts. It hurts so bad I have to force myself to throw up like when I was nine years old.

In conclusion, teacher's don't understand what goes on in their students' minds. Yelling can be something that triggers them or makes them cry within seconds or just zone out for minutes on end and they don't learn anything which is then blamed on themselves because they "were paying attention to the teacher."

With all of that being said, teachers suck ass.