He had lived every day as the one before. One after the last the days blurred together. He wanted nothing more than to find something to live for. To have a suicidal mate was unbearable. Especially when she doesn't know she's your mate.
She'd been...
I settle her back into my car and go over to my side. The belt clicks into place and I put my keys into the ignition. The car roars to a start.
"Where do you live?", I ask.
She sits up a bit straighter in her seat, "are you taking me home?".
"What's your address?", I ask again deciding to ignore her question. She tells me and I put the car into drive.
It's started snowing since I took her in and the ground is already covered in about an inch of snow. I'm glad for it though. I like how the snow softens the world outside my windows. This part of town needs all the softening it can get.
Her neighborhood is a dirty crime-ridden cesspit. The snow helps to hide the litter and filth covering the streets. Maybe if more comes down it will hide away all the rot that pervades the area. The streets could have some sense of cleanliness.
The temperature even keeps some of her former colleagues indoors. I think of the outfit I found her in yesterday. If I hadn't found her she'd probably still be out here today giving herself frostbite.
"Turn here", she says. I do as she says and we pull into an apartment complex. I've driven past these buildings a million times without ever finding her. I could've had her that much sooner if I'd been more observant. Yesterday it wasn't even me who spotted her. I'd just sensed she was a rouge and pulled over to see if she was a danger.
I pull into a spot and park. I push open my door and walk over to open hers. I gather her up into my arms again.
"I can walk you know", she says.
"Not barefoot in this weather you can't", I say, "Which one is yours?".
"It's the second to last one on the right end", she says, "in the basement level".
I take her where she tells me. The stairs creak threateningly under my weight. The place is in desperate need of repair. When I get to her door it pushes open easily, she didn't even lock it.
I knock the snow off my shoes before stepping into her apartment. The place is filthy and I don't want to put her down but, I know I have to.
"Do you have any suitcases?", I ask.
"No".
"Do you have trash bags or boxes?", I ask. She nods and takes me into her kitchen. The sink is full of dishes and mold. She opens a pantry and hands me a box of garbage bags.
"You won't let me go will you?", She asks.
"No", I say, "I won't". Her face crumbles at my words.
"Why?".
"You're my mate", I say.
"I'm what?", She asks.
I grab her hand, "I know you feel them".
She blinks at me confused, "feel what?".
"The sparks", I say, "those sparks mean we were meant for each other".
"I don't feel anything", she tries to pull her hand from mine.
"Can you feel this", I lean down to press my lips against hers. I set the box on the counter behind her and bring my hand to the small of her back. I press her close to me feeling the softness of her body.
The kiss does exactly what I thought it would do. The sparks turn to fireworks too intense for her to ever deny.
I pull away from her already missing the feeling. When she looks at me I see stars in her eyes that I'm sure are in mine too.
"You're mine and I am yours", my voice comes out breathless.
"What's a mate?", she asks.
"I'll explain when we get home, let's get you packed up okay?", I turn away from her.
"No", she says, "this isn't fair. You can't just take me away from my life and not tell me why. If this is some charity thing I don't need it. I'm doing fine here. I don't know what you did to make a kiss feel like that but, I don't care. I am not just something for you to have. You say I am yours but, I am my own. You have no idea all I've had to do to get to this point in my life. You don't know the shit I've gone through and what I've had to give up to earn the freedom I have".
I think over her words and realize she is right. Even if I am offering her comfort and safety the trade-off is that I'm stealing some of her freedom. Doing this would be making the same mistake my brother did to Diana and my father did to my mother.
"What are you doing?", She asks. I walk over to the front door to lock it. I shut all her blinds. When I return to her I make sure there's enough space between us.
"Stay calm", I tell her.
"What do you-", her words stop in her throat as I start to shift. Fur grows through my skin. My bones break and reshape clicking into place. My pupils grow turning my eyes dark. My claws come through the beds of my nails.
She screams as my paws hit the ground. She backsteps away from me until her back hits the wall.
"Stay away from me", she shrieks. I make no move to approach her. She pulls a pair of scissors from her pants to hold them out towards me. I lay down dropping my head into my paws. Embarrassing as it is a let out a whine and wag my tail, hoping to show I mean her no harm.
"What are you?", She asks. She looks so frightened I want nothing more than to comfort her. I can't comfort her when it's me she's scared of.
We stay like that for a long time in a sort of standoff. Eventually, she lowers her scissors handshaking all the way. She still stares at me through wide eyes when I stand to approach her. I keep myself crouched so my size doesn't scare her any more than necessary.
Once I'm a couple of feet from her I sit. She stares at me saying nothing. I lower my head and put it out to allow her to pet me. Her hand is slow and pauses a bit on it's way but, her fingers eventually push into my fur. I nudge my head against her hand encouraging her. She starts running her hand through my fur. Her stiffened posture starts to melt away.
A shocked laugh falls from her lips, "how?". I shift back and pull her into my lap. I rest my face against the crook of her neck and breath in her scent.
"I am a wolf", I say, "we are essentially assigned soulmates. We only get the one and we have no say in who it is. You are mine".
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