Animal

Chapter 2

 ♛𝕳ope 𝖂ikaelson ♛

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I try desperately not to cry, I feel like I'm crying and screaming underwater trying to break through to the surface but pulled down by the weight of my guilt. I hate being around other people especcially when they hate me, but being alone makes my mind wander. It wanders places I would rather it not. One moment I'm fine the next minute I'm crying over my dead mother.

My eyes start to water at the thought of her.

In the middle of the night in my cold tomb I feel empty and alone. When I was little I had imaginary friends, I tried so hard to convince myself they were real or better than real friends. But they got too real when I was eight, when they left me when I wanted to be alone ,was to much of a downer to be around

             whose imaginary friends leave them............

When I turned nine I started observing other. It  all started when Ricky Rogers stabbed a hole in the middle of  his juice box and accidentally sprayed it all over Veronica Fell and her best friend Jake Dall punched him in the nose and he got sent to the office. It astonished me how such a simple action could cause such a huge outcome and what was going through Ricky,Veronica,and Jake's heads. I had never really deeply questioned it until that moment. When I was little I always leaned towards Solipsism.........but I guess thats what you get when you only were friends two adults from early childhood until I was seven........

........It wasn't that I was narcistic it was just hard to believe that other people existed when you couldn't read there minds......Which also scares the  crap out of me when I was little I was terrified that the people who loved me most would stab me in my sleep.... I know what you're thinking , that it's crazy.........but it's not crazy when you're raised by people who find murder a yawn.

"Hope" Caroline knocks on my door.

I know there is no point in pretending to be asleep because I know she  heard my heart rate jump when she knocked.

I open up my door slowly.

"Josie told me what Landon said,do you want to talk about" Caroline replies sorrowfully

I nod in responce. 

I don't talk much, probably because when everyone hates you its easier to stay quiet and out of sight.......... sometimes I even forget what my own voice sounds like.

"I'm sorry for acting in such a childish manner, It was a stupid insult and I took it too seriously" I apologize looking her in the eyes

I watch how her pained expression grows more hurt "Hope you had a human reaction-" She starts

 "Exactly I'm a tribrid" I slam my door.

I don't know why seeing her made me so mad,but it just did..

I grab my paint palette a start swiping furiously with my brush to create a field of uneven grass. Pressing down hard with every brush stroke its a miracle I haven't broken the canvas.

I spend all day on my painting refusing to leave my room for anything.

Maybe I was being petty or maybe I was just embarrassed that I beat up Landon or that I didn't do it hard enough.