Finding You

Fo

It's not like I had a choice. I was a broke college dropout who gazed around the mammoth city each day I trudged the streets, dreaming of surviving- bottom line. He offered me money; all I needed to do was give him a blowjob. It wasn't my first time, but I didn't care. I was desperate- still was- and Grayson knew that. He used my weakness against me, exploited it, and I kept coming back for more. Not for more of him, but more of his money.
I felt zero attachment to him, and the second I saved up enough money to move, I planned on leaving the city completely. Don't get me wrong, sewer rats fighting and a slab of ham sitting on a bench outside of an H&M is more than enough to persuade anyone into moving into the glorious city, but the lifestyle was too hectic. I was tired of taxis and beggars and bar hopping and job hunting and my shitty apartment with even shitter roommates. I needed a break and to focus on getting my life back on track. Grayson's money helped me achieve that quicker.
My body has never been that important to me. I've consistently used my looks and body to scrape by. I'd gladly suck or fuck some dude off for quick cash if it helped pay off my phone bill for that month. Afterall, there's only so much that an inconsistent pay from an underground bar can do for you when you're working part-time. I'd already done my math, however. I only needed to last in the dump that was my neighborhood for another year and a half before I had enough saved to move out and get away.
As I was getting ready to leave for Grayson's, I thought about Aku-no. That was his name, wasn't it? I threw on my coat, locked the janky door and pulled it twice to assure it's closure, and headed down the stairs. He was a looker, wasn't he? He had yet to contact me, and I certainly wasn't going to text first. What would I say? "Hey, I loved spending time and your money with you! You're also packing, let's go again!" Something told me that even if I worded it any different, it'd still sound the exact same.
I laughed at myself, walking down the street and brushing past nameless people with equally nameless faces that I didn't bother looking at. The night was still young, yet I had to pass at least six shit-faced teenagers before even reaching the road I had to cross. Even I could hold my liquor better, and I was a pretty bad lightweight.
I didn't even have to knock on his door before it suddenly swung open in front of me, Grayson's piercing green eyes stabbing through mine before ordering me inside. I shuffled off my coat nervously, feeling the tension stiffen the air around us.
"You're early," he growled, fixing my coat on the coat rack. He liked it neat, absolutely despising the way I haphazardly threw things everywhere. Grayson sighed, using his foot to fix the rug that I had wrinkled. "Strip," he muttered, and I reluctantly obliged, taking off my shirt and new skirt that Aku-no bought me last week. His eyes lingered on the articles of clothing longer than they should've. I squeezed my eyes shut as he pushed me against the wall. Right by the door, are you fucking kidding me? He reeked of alcohol and drugs that I'd never smelled before, even more so than he normally did. I had an aching feeling when he kissed me, tasting of bitter whiskey, that I'd be here a while and go home feeling absolutely terrible.
I was right, as I typically was with gut feelings around Grayson. After he finished with me, I layed in his bed, staring up at the ceiling tiredly while he smoked by the window, texting another one of his callboys. Closing my eyes and inhaling secondhand smoke, I thought about Aku-no. I imagined him the entire time I was with Grayson, from the moment I stepped into his high-end house to the second he got up from the bed. He said I could lay for another fifteen minutes before he kicked me out, but that time had most certainly passed.
I slowly sat up, rubbing my eyes and wrapping a throw blanket around my shoulders before standing. Taking a second to get my balance, I shuffled to the bathroom, noticing Grayson glance my direction for a moment before tending back to his cigarette. I fixed my hair and washed my face, taking a couple drinks of water from the sink. He really drank a lot. He didn't follow me downstairs, didn't bother me while I was getting dressed, and didn't even think about seeing me on my way out. Just how it'd always been.
I sighed, looking back at his apartment door for a moment before walking away and heading for the elevator. Like hell I'd walk down the stairs in this state. I counted the money he gave me as I rode down the elevator, making sure it was the right amount. I was given twenty dollars less than I should have been paid, but I decided to let it go. I was too tired to deal with that bastard again, and it probably wouldn't even do me any good in the long run. What would it buy me, groceries? I could pilfer the apartment fridge for something or just wait it out. I shoved the envelope full of cash back into my coat pocket when the elevator door dinged open, and trudged out of the apartment building. I forgot how cold it was outside after being in the warmth and comfort of Grayson's room. Comfort was a bit of a stretch to how I really felt.
I quickly pushed my hands into my pockets, breathing into the frozen air and watching my breath swirl into the sky until it disappeared. Time to go home. I gripped my pocket knife in my hand, being wary of the empty streets and everything around me. I'd gotten mugged before. He wasn't too kind with me- he was even less kind when he realized what a shit target he'd picked. I gave him the ten dollars I had on me, then picked up a cheap pocket knife the next day. Ever since, I've been cautious when I walked home at late hours from Grayson's appointments. So, when I realized there were footprints stomping behind me for at least a block, there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to walk past my house. I knew this area pretty well, so I could map out another route home that had more cars passing by than the quiet road I was on.
They didn't get off my trail the entire time, even after I walked past the shopping district, past the housing, and past the tiny mailing office on the corner. And, hey, in all fairness, maybe they needed directions to somewhere. Giving them the benefit of the doubt; how unlike me. Fuck if I care- get my attention. Don't be weird about it. Tap my shoulder, yell, stab me or something, I don't know. I gripped my switchblade and whipped around, pointing the daring blade at whatever creep wouldn't get off my ass.
"Do you fucking need... something..?" Aku-no's face met the end of my blade, palms up, surrendering. I dropped my hand, "What the hell, man?" I was glad it was him and not somebody else, but why was it him? Why was he here? Wow, I really missed his face... What was he doing following me? Did I get involved with a stalker?
"Oh, it is you!" His worried and terrified expression instantly melted away the second I lowered my knife, melting into a warm and relieved smile. "I thought it might be you, but I couldn't be sure. Ah, where are we? I must've zoned out." My heartrate started to slow down as I sighed,
"What are you doing out here? No, why were you following me?" He shifted his weight to one of his hips and combed his fingers through his hair.
"I was busy all week with work so I couldn't text you. I didn't know if you were busy too or not, so I hoped to find you on the street like I did before and," he smiled. "Here you are." My heart still hadn't slowed down when I started to walk back towards my apartment, distraught. Why'd he have to see me like this?
"Text me whenever. You have my number, don't you? I'll give you my work schedule." To my surprise, he tagged alongside.
"Did you just get off? It's like midnight." I gripped my phone,
"Yeah. It's a really late shift." He'd be able to see right through my lie written on tracing paper, but what authority did he have to question me? We'd just met. "Um... Where's your car? You're a bit far." I stopped right in front of my apartment building door, looking up and down the streets for his fancy silver car. I'm not a car person, I don't know car names. He titled his head, gazing up at me,
"Worried about me?" That caught my attention. My face burned from the freezing air,
"Don't flatter yourself. It's just cold."
"Yet you're wearing a skirt," he laughed, poking my exposed thighs. I scoffed,
"Touche." I reached for the door, but was stopped by the sound of him walking up the stairs next to me. When I looked up at him, he averted his eyes, staring at my hand on the door handle. Was he walking me up to my room? Fine.
I glanced at Aku-no in the lobby mirror; he looked good. A thin black coat and a cute white scarf? My nose was bleeding. He pressed the elevator button for me, and after asking what floor I was on, pressed the floor button, too. Thanks for saving me from the germs, my knight in shining armor. I laughed under my breath at my ridiculous thoughts, unintentionally leaning on his shoulder. I wasn't mad, and he didn't move away until the elevator door opened again.
For once, the guy I was bringing home didn't mention the dilapidated apartment complex or the shitty area of town I lived in. Did this absolute blockhead wielding designer jewelry not care about what I could afford? That was a first. I unlocked the door, leaning on it with all my weight to push the door in. It was always my favorite part of coming home; the door that sometimes didn't open. I was lucky it did at all.
"Aren't your roommates home?" He whispered, leaning on the wall and listening for any sound whatsoever. I trudged over to my room, looking behind me to make sure he was following.
"They're out partying. I only catch them here like twice a week. They pay their rent, so I don't care. If they were home, I wouldn't have let you follow me in," I sighed, closing and locking my door behind him. I left him at that, and he didn't pry or follow up. "Are you staying over, then?" I asked, shuffling off my coat and throwing it on my desk chair. He had already made himself at home, laying on my bed and watching me. I watched his lips curl into a soft grin,
"If you want me to, I can." I rolled my eyes and laughed,
"Knock yourself out, Moneybags." He slid off his jacket, keeping an eye on me while I cleaned my room. I heard him rustle around in the covers, but I paid no mind. God, my room really was a mess. "I swear it's not normally this bad, it's just that Zak had a guy over and Soliel had her girlfriend over... I think Ryan had a couple girls over and-"
"It's okay," Aku-no said, cutting me off. He was flipping through a couple mangas I had sitting on the foot of my bed. When he noticed I had gotten quiet, he ripped his eyes off the pages, glancing up at me, "I don't mind. You're fine." I sighed, closing my eyes for a minute before continuing to pick up clothes and trash off of my floor. Someone used my room last night, and I didn't really want to know who.
"Shit, I'm such a bad host-" I quickly set down the clothes slung over my arm, throwing them onto my desk chair, "Sorry. Do you want anything to eat or drink? I'm sure we have something." He closed the books, looking at the posters on my walls,
"Have you had dinner?" I fidgeted,
"Not yet, no."
"Let's order something. You're okay with that, right?"