Finding You

Figh

     "You really didn't have to pay for this. I could've handled it." We shared a pizza on my bedroom floor, my laptop open and playing a shitty reality TV show that we were making fun of. He set down his crust on the top of the box,
     "It wasn't that much. I really don't mind."
     "I just feel bad for using your money all the time," I responded quickly, avoiding his gaze. I enjoyed spending his money the week before, but the guilt was just starting to set in. I still had morals.
      He snickered, "I've barely spent anything on you, come on. Let me spoil you." I zoned out, my eyes focused on the laptop screen as his words played fresh in my mind. Spoil me? Spoil me. Spoil... me? Was he trying to get with me or was he just being nice? Is this how relationships started? I'd only never been in a few. My first was a silly relationship in kindergarten, I thought. What was her name, Anna? Annie? A... Something with an A...
      "I love this episode, the acting is horrible!" Aku-no's yelling followed by laughter muffled by pizza caught me off guard, making me spill a little bit of soda on my shirt. Damn, I liked this one. I peered over at him, watching the way he looked so intently at the screen, lips resting in a gentle smile as he tilted his head to the side. His hair fell in front of his eyes, making him run his fingers through the strands, brushing it back away from his forehead. His hands were really pretty. The lamp lit up his features delicately, giving him a subtle shine on his smooth skin. Was he a model, too? If not, he should be.
      "What are you looking at?" Aku-no asked, sliding a hand onto my thigh. I flinched, my heart beating in my throat. He looked at me with worry.
     "Ah, sorry... You just looked really pretty, that's all." I noticed his hand was now on my carpet instead of resting on my skin, which almost upset me.
     "I shouldn't have touched you without asking. Are you alright?" I moved to lean on the side of my bed,
     "You're fine. I really don't care. I just... didn't expect it. That's all. I'm good though, thanks." I gave him a tired smile to try and take the subject off of me, but he didn't accept it. He shut my laptop,
     "It's three; you should get to bed. Don't you have work tomorrow?" I stretched and nodded.
     "I do, but I work night shifts most of the time. I have time to kill. You can take the bed whenever you want to pass out, though. Here, I'll clean up," I yawned, picking up the pizza box with a few crusts inside as well as the cups we used for soda. He ate the other half of the pizza, so he was hungry. I bet he wouldn't have eaten if I didn't want anything. I walked the box out to our living room, putting it inside the almost full garbage bag that sat halfway between the kitchen and living room. The cups were placed on the Leaning Tower of Dirty Dishes, one of the hottest attractions in our apartment. It wasn't my turn to clean them; it's been Zak's turn for the past two weeks.
     "Do you care if I change?" I asked, tying my hair back loosely and walking back into my room. He was preoccupied on his phone, but stopped what he was doing to look up at me.
     "Aw, but your skirt is so cute... I don't mind, though. Go ahead, it's your apartment," he giggled, inspecting the clothes I picked out. I changed in the bathroom, no sooner coming back out in pajama pants and a baggy t-shirt. Aku-no was laying on my bed close to the wall, tapping away on his phone. My phone wasn't where I left it, making me panic until I saw it plugged in on my nightstand. Did I plug it in?
     "Do you want the lamp on or off?" I asked, turning back to him before I unplugged it. He thought for a minute,
     "Do you sleep with it off?" I nodded, humming in response. He went back to typing, "Then off." He was a weird one. I grabbed a pillow off the bed and a plushie, looking around my room for my extra blanket. Aku-no turned off his phone and stretched, looking up at me, "Sleep here." I held back my laughter, though it crept out in the form of an awkward half-smile,
     "My bed is tiny, idiot. I'll crush you." he shrugged, reaching to place his phone by mine. His eyes glistened in the moonlight,
      "It'll be fine. Come here!" His affable smile won me over. I hid my grin, sliding into bed next to him. I hugged my Totoro plushie next to my chest as I buried my head in the familiar crook under his chin. I shouldn't feel close to him. I shouldn't let my guard down. I shouldn't feel anything towards him, so why is his hand on my waist pulling me close making my heart race? Why does my stomach tie in knots when he smiles? I've hardly known him that long; isn't it too early to have a highschool crush on him?
      "What are you thinking about?" Aku-no whispered, his deep voice vibrating in his chest. "You're squeezing the fuck out of Totoro." I adjusted my body, scooching closer to him,
     "Just lost in thought. Tired." Aku-no kissed my forehead,
     "When are you free next?" There it was. He'd ask me out and then fuck me because that's what everyone did. I've tried so hard to stop generalizing everyone who approached me, but it was near impossible when they all seemed to be the same. I sighed under my breath,
      "Today after I wake up. Then Saturday." he pulled the covers over my shoulders,
      "Can I pick you up on Saturday? I think I have a couple places I want to go with you. Only if you're up for it." I squeezed Totoro, feeling his fluff underneath my fingers,
      "Okay. Text me later to remind me... I'm sleepy." He brushed his fingers through my hair, playing with the ends,
     "Goodnight, Kai." Ah. I hadn't heard that nickname in a while. Why did it not bother me when he used it?
     "Goodnight."

     I woke up to the sun pouring in through my thin tattered curtains, making me squeeze my eyes shut and dig my head into the pillow. Aku-no was still sound asleep next to me. I reached up towards my nightstand and grabbed a phone, which turned out to be his. I took a couple pictures after making sure I looked presentable, then switched his phone for mine. They were good pictures. He'd thank me later if he ever realized I took them. It was noon. I had to go to work in three hours, so I had to leave in two and a half. Shit. I really wanted to stay with Aku-no, but I couldn't take off for anything but Grayson's meetings.
     I groaned, stretching and hiding in Aku-no's chest. He was very strong and pretty built, and you could tell even through his button down. No matter how hard I tried to convince him, he wouldn't accept my offer to borrow a shirt, so he slept in a button down. Arguably, it probably wasn't even that uncomfortable, but it couldn't possibly be as comfortable as a t-shirt.
     He rolled around, turning towards the wall as he began to wake up. Cute. I reached up to tuck hair behind his ear,
     "Are you up?" He didn't answer, but he did turn back around. I could never get over his flawless facial features. His skin didn't have a single blemish. Did this fucker not have pores? Lucky piece of shit. I went to cup his face with my hand to see how soft it really was, but I stopped myself. What the hell did I think I was doing? I got out of bed, making my side of the sheets neat and pulling the covers up so he didn't get cold. The heat didn't kick in until later in the day, so it was freezing in my room. I layered an extra blanket on top of Aku-no before digging around in my dresser for clean work clothes. I had to wait to get paid to do my laundry with the extra coins. I couldn't steal from Soliel again.
     "Shit, you're up already?" I turned around from the mirror on my dresser, finishing tying my tie.
      "What? Oh, yeah. I have to go to work in like an hour." He checked his phone, then exhaled,
     "You should've woken me up. I can drive you." Aku-no sat up, wrapping the extra blanket around his shoulders after stretching. I glared at him before tucking my shirt in my slacks,
      "Wasn't your car too far last night, though?" Smiling, he fixed his hair in his phone camera,
      "Oh it's actually in the parking lot a few blocks away. I didn't expect to find you, so I might've pretended it was further to hang out with you. Sorry." He absolutely was not sorry, but I wasn't mad. I found it quite funny, actually. "I guess I'll have to chauffeur you around for compensation, huh?" I grinned,
     "That sounds fair to me." He took his time getting ready, taunting me by saying that he drives fast and could make up for lost time. We made small talk while walking down three blocks to the parking lot that I didn't even know existed. His car, thankfully, was on the first floor, making it incredibly convenient to get warmed up as soon as possible.
     He did, in fact, make up for lost time by dodging most traffic ridden roads to get to the hidden bar on the outskirts of the city. I let him pull me in for a kiss that lasted arguably a bit too long for people who barely knew each other, but neither of us wanted to pull away until we were out of breath.
      "Have you gotten better at that?" Aku-no asked, his hand still tight on the back of my neck. I smirked,
     "I suppose. Only because you've taught me." He moved in his seat, letting his hand fall from my neck onto my back,
     "Get to work, Kai." I giggled, grabbing my bag,
     "Sure thing, Mr. Aku-no."
     "Call me Aku," he said, shifting gears. "My full name is too formal, don't you think? Yours was." My heart skipped a beat.
     "Fine, Aku. I'm done at eleven if you want to... chauffeur me around some more. I'm not sure your debt is quite fulfilled yet." I opened the door, turning around to hear his final words before I went inside.
     "I might pick you up. I'm still deciding on it," he chuckled, winking at me after I closed the door. The cold air made my face burn. Somehow I had a feeling that work was going to drag on for hours.