Wolf Girl (Book 1) REWRITING

Chapter 11: Carys

Carys' POV

We walk onto the playground, and instantly heads turn. It feels like my first day all over again, except this time they know about my tragic backstory, at least some parts of it. I'm no stranger to how cruel kids can be, it's the main reason I didn't have any friends back in Wales. But ignore the stares and the whispers, holding tightly to Jana's hand as we go inside in time for the bell. 

Mr. Jeffries smiles as I walk in, and tells me he's happy to see me back. Jimi and his mates aren't howling and laughing at me anymore, it's strange to think they pity me. I hear the K's talking about me from a few rows behind, so I tune out Mr. Jeffries' lecture and listen to them instead.

"I wouldn't be in school if my dad had just died," Kay says, "And Maddy and Rhydian back too? There's always something weird going on with that lot." 

"Does anyone even know how he died?" Kara adds.

I turn around to face them, looking them in the eyes and folding my arms in frustration, "It's none of your business," I raise my voice, but manage not to scream at them, "Next time you want to talk about my life, say it to my face, otherwise keep my name out of your mouths."

"That's enough girls!" Mr. Jeffries shouts. 

I sit down and squeeze Jana's hand, trying to keep my wolf inside but I'm bursting at the seams.

"It's okay, you're allowed to be mad," Jana whispers, giving the K's an evil glare on my behalf.

My leg bounces up and down all morning and I begin to think that Jana was right, maybe I should have stayed home. But it's too late now, I just have to push through. At break time, we all sit in the darkroom, the others talk about normal teenage stuff. It's nice to feel like I'm part of something normal for a change, as normal as life can get for a Wolfblood. When the bell rings everyone gets up to go to the next lesson, but I stay seated.

"You coming?" Jana asks. I shake my head. "Want me to stay?"

"No it's alright, I could use a moment alone."

Jana hesitates, "Carys."

Jana's been amazing, but I haven't had a minute to myself in weeks. She's scared to leave me alone and on some level I understand, but I've always dealt with things on my own and it's the only way I know.

"Jana, I'm okay, I promise," I squeeze her hand, "I just need some peace and quiet for a moment, I'll catch up to you."

She nods reluctantly and kisses my forehead before leaving with the others. Now that I'm alone, the tears start to flow. I haven't really cried since it happened; it's mostly been blank-faced wall-staring and trying to think about the good memories that feel so sour now. I let out pathetic sobs and whimpers, hoping my Wolfblood friends are far enough away not to hear me, but alas, Rhydian walks in.

He sees me crying, "I was just coming to get my jacket," he says awkwardly, "Are you- No, of course you're not okay."

I quickly try to gather myself, "Sorry," but my voice cracks.

"Hey," he sits down beside me, "You're allowed to cry, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed."

"I know," I say, sniffling, "Thanks."

"I'm sorry, again, about what I said, about it being your fault. I was scared, but I know that's not an excuse. Truth is I was just looking for a reason not to blame myself."

"I forgive you, but why would you blame yourself?" I ask.

"I brought him back here, we escaped him back in Canada and brought him with us. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have taken the wild pack, he wouldn't have done what he did to you and... and your dad."