As A Mum

How It Started

Around a year ago I found out I was pregnant... both me and my partner weren't expecting it at all- in fact I was on the contraceptive patch. I did one pregnancy test the day after I missed my period because it was very unusual for me to be even a day late; it came back negative. The next day I did another one since my period was still no where to be seen and both me and my partner were stunned that I actually was pregnant. I don't think I have ever seen him go so pale with shock in all the time that I have known him.

But here is my pregnancy story...

To start off with I had a really easy pregnancy... at least for the first 12 weeks- no morning sickness, no dizziness and I could function like a normal human being as I could before I got pregnant. Although I did have to come off of my medication (which was an antipsychotic for my personality disorder) as it was causing seizures which could have seriously hurt both me and baby.

Around 12 weeks pregnant my mental health started sloping and so I tried seeking help but nothing seemed to be quick enough and at 14 weeks pregnant I lost control because of what I call 'box mode' where I can see what I'm doing but cannot control any of what I do I took a paracetamol overdose and landed myself in hospital- luckily both me and baby came out of it completely fine. 

At 16 weeks I started getting really ill. I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum which for those of you that don't know what that it is it is a severe kind of morning sickness, because of this I couldn't keep down any food or fluid so once again I landed myself in hospital this time for fluids. Then a few weeks later I became anaemic and so had to give up work because I couldn't stand for longer than five minutes at a time.

So lets fast forward a bit... three months ago to this date as I write this me and my partner went into hospital ready for me to be induced- at this point I was 38 weeks pregnant but my son had barely moved in the past three days and I was in and out of hospital with reduced movement after going into labour early at 30 weeks pregnant; although I was quite lucky in that the nurses gave me some kind of fluid via my veins to stop the labour and steroids just in case he came anyway. So we packed our bags, I phoned my Nan and my mum and let them know the plan... which was that I was to go in at 8 am to be seen by the doctor on their rounds so that I could be induced. 

    We got there and I spoke to the working midwife- it went along the lines of;

"Hey! My name is Grey... I came in yesterday and was told to come in today to be induced."

         "Hey Grey... you weren't supposed to come in until we called you... there are 3 women waiting ahead of you... we weren't going to call you in until around 2."

"Oh... the midwife yesterday told me to come in at 8 to be seen on the doctors rounds... I'll come back in a few hours while we get something to eat then... but could I leave my maternity notes here?"

       "I'll set you up on a bed so when you come back you have somewhere to go whilst you wait."

So I thanked her and she set us up ready for when we came back.

We took the next bus out to the nearest village and went for breakfast.

Later we came back and sat where she put us earlier that day.

So the wait began. And we waited all day... and all night and all of the following day.

Then at 3 am me and my partner went out for a cigarette... I know- I shouldn't have been smoking whilst pregnant and I promise you I did attempt to quit and failed miserably. All of a sudden I felt cramping pain in my lower stomach. Kris, my partner told me to time them with my special pregnancy app... so I did. By the time I got back into the ward we were in my contractions were a minute and a half apart. 

They told me that it was just Braxton hicks (false contractions) and told me to go relax, so I went to my room and laid down on the bed. Over the course of the next hour the contractions kept getting more powerful to the point where I was shaking each time that they happened. I went back out to the midwife and told her that they where getting worse. She came and put a monitor on me and walked off. This monitor showed that I was indeed having contractions.

An hour later she returns and sees how extreme my contractions are. She then checks how dilated I was- 6cms. I call my mum in a hurry.