I See Light In All Your Darkness // Rafe Cameron

four

TW: mentions of abuse

The Last Night

JJ pulled me into his lap and kissed my cheek, "I can't believe tonight is your last night before you go back."

A small smile formed on my lips, "Yeah, but I'll be back before you know it. I'll visit I swear."

Kie threw an empty chip bag at me, "Yeah, I'm not gonna let you go that long without visiting again."

John B stood up and crossed his arms, "So what are we gonna do to cap off the summer?"

Pope, Kie, and JJ shared a knowing glance.

Pope nodded his head, "Kegger!"

They all let out a cheer and stood up to get things ready.

JJ picked me up and walked over to John B's car, "C'mon babe, lets go get a keg!"

Later that night we were carrying a keg to the boneyard to set up. Kie and I followed behind the boys, carrying cups and a cooler full of wine coolers for us to drink. As we walked, my jeans kept riding down and I kept having to yank them up. As we sat all of the supplies down, Kie grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side out of earshot of the boys.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Kie. Why?"

She grabbed a belt loop on my jeans and showed the inch gap between my waist and the fabric. "Those fit when you got here."

I pushed her hand away and pulled them back up. "We've been doing a lot of exercising this summer."

She chewed the inside of her cheek and tapped her foot. "Okay. That better be it."

I walked over to find JJ as people started to show up.

I jumped onto JJ's back and kissed his neck. "Hey, handsome. Wanna go spend some time alone?"

"Oh, you know it baby." He handed the cup in his hand to John B and turned on his heel to walk in the opposite direction of the party. Once we got far enough away that we couldn't hear the music anymore, he dropped me onto the sand. He grabbed my hand and spun me around.

He pulled me into his body and used a free hand to tilt my chin up placing a soft kiss to my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he put his hands on my thighs, lifting me up. He deepened the kiss, swiping his tongue acros my lip asking for access. I opened my mouth and our tongues swirled together, a small moan slipped out of my throat. He laid me down onto the sand and positioned himself ontop of me. I slipped my fingers into his hair and pulled gently causing goosebumps to flourish on his skin.

His hands moved from my lower back, across my arm, and to my ribs. He moved his thumb in small circles on my exposed skin from where my shirt rode up. He slipped his hand under my shirt to my bra.

My breath hitched in my throat and I pushed him away. "JJ-"

He sat up and slammed his fists into the sand next to him. "Are you kidding? You've been teasing me all summer and you won't even give me a little something? You're leaving tomorrow. What am I supposed to do?"

I sat up on my elbows and furrowed my eyebrows. I sucked my lip between teeth and stared up at him. "Is sex really that important to you? You can't wait until I'm ready?"

He tilted his head back and let out a throaty laugh. "I'm a guy. You're my girlfriend. I'm not whipped. Everyone's gonna think I'm a loser."

I stood to my feet and dusted the sand off of my jeans. "I really thought you were different, JJ."

He grabbed my elbow and stared down into my eyes, anger dripping from his face. "What is that supposed to mean?"

I dropped my gaze to his feet and pulled my arm away from his grasp. "I am going to tell you something and you cannot treat me differently."

He turned his head and bit his lip.

I took a deep breath and started picking at my fingers. "I'm not gonna get into it because I'm still not over it. But my last boyfriend... he... he did some things that I didn't want him to do... and, uh..."

He grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

I pulled away from him, "It's fine. I don't really go broadcast it all over the world."

"Hey, we don't have to. We will move as slow as you want I promise."

I smiled at him and leaned in for a quick peck on the lips.

"Come on, let's go back to the party." He laced our fingers together and pulled me back to the party.

The next morning I grabbed my bags and loaded them into my moms car. I turned to face Kie, JJ, John B, and Pope. "Well guys, I guess this is it for awhile."

Pope and John B pulled me into a tight group hug.

"We're gonna miss you, Meeks." Pope whispered into my ear.

"Don't worry, we'll take good care of your man," John B said as he patted my back.

"I know guys. I love you both." I gave them each a kiss on the cheek and then moved on to Kie.

I held her hands and tried to blink away the tears forming in my eyes. "I'm gonna miss you so much, Kie. You're the closest thing I've ever had to a sister."

Kie pulled me into a hug and and I felt the dampness of her tears on the top of my head. "Thank goodness facetime exists," she choked out.

I stepped over to JJ and he scooped me up and spun me around. When he set me back on the ground he placed his hands on my cheeks and placed a passionate kiss to my lips. "I am going to miss you so much."

"I'm going to miss you, too. You've shown me what it's like to really be cared about." I kissed him one last time and then placed a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Hey, before you go make sure you share your location with me, I already shared mine with you. I just want us to always know the other is safe."

I smiled up at him and took out my phone, sending him my location.

"C'mon Meeks, we have a flight to catch."

I turned towards the car and smiled at my mom. As I climbed into the car I turned back and gave a final wave to my friends. The one group of people that got me and were always there for me no matter what, pogue style.

I buckled my seat belt and turned to my mom as she pulled away from Kie's house. "Hey, mom. I want to move here. These are my people. This is my home."