Return to Me

Chapter 13

Sorry, I didn't write how Zach handles the news of Cammie in a coma, since I did a Cammie's POV. But anyway, I updated! Please give some feedback? Thanks! Hope you enjoyed it. 

~~~CammieMorgan~~~

I don’t know how long I had slept, but I felt like it’s a long time. I felt like I’m in a heavenly place, fully drenched in happiness. I had a feeling I was being rescued.

Then, I gradually opened my eyes. I saw a white room. I blinked. And grinned a little. This is the GallagherGirlsAcademy hospital ward! I’m rescued! I wanted to do a happy dance right here, right now, but I found that’s impossible. I was tied to the bed.

I panicked and looked down. Oh, luckily, they are only little tubes that linked to a big machine. I take in all the room. Somehow, I saw a certain green-eyed boy just sitting there, dozing off. Zach.

Tears started to spill as I tried desperately to keep it back. Why isn’t he with Bex? I stared at him, open-mouthed, dumbfounded. I thought of all those times we had together. Missions, some chance encounters, that day in the gauge, and also, and especially that day in the tombs.

My memories flooded back to that day, that wonderful, fateful and Zach-y day. My lips still tingled where his passionate kisses touched me, that hungry kiss. I love how it feels, but it hurts.

I stared at his lips, full-in-thought. Now that I see him again, all those doubts came flooding back. I couldn’t believe he is with Bex now! Anyway, it’s all my fault for running away without him. And getting caught. Getting brain-washed. I’m not good enough. For him. For everything. For everyone. My friends, my mother, Zach, everyone.

Tears sting my eyes as my eyes were puffy red. I let myself cry silently, thinking how I wasn’t good enough. Apparently now, everyone abandoned me. Everyone.

I didn’t know how long I stared at Zach, I just know that I couldn’t cry anymore, and my eyes dried. I still stared at him, with sorrowful, red and puffy eyes, hoping him to tell me I’m good enough for him, but I know it’s almost impossible.

Suddenly, I get an overwhelming motivation to die. Maybe if I ended my life now, no one would care about me anymore. No one cares, since I’m not good enough.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I saw Zach’s head jerk up. I think he could feel my stare on him. His face worried which I don’t know how he managed it, but it is. But then, when he saw my eyes, my red and puffy eyes, he smiled. Real wide. Yes, he honestly to God smiled widely.

‘Cammie! You’re awake! You know you have been in a coma for two weeks!’ What? Two weeks? I thought it’s only for a week or something!

I saw his face fell. I guess it’s because my face’s solemn, and is programmed to shut him out, which is what I’m doing right now. I’m still not ready to let anyone who abandoned me in yet.

‘You’re still shutting me out?’ He whispered, in a kind-of-desperate, sadistic tone, showing some of his emotions. I see confusion, sadness, disappointment, worry all in one gaze. His expression begged me to forgive him, to be in his arms once again. But I do know it’s impossible, and my face hardened. I was tempted, for a second, but I knew it would be wrong. I couldn’t let anyone in. They abandoned me.

I stood up from the bed. He reached out his hand, and helped me out of the bed. I shivered at his touch, and shrank back. It was then I looked into his green eyes. I shivered again with his expression. It was a hurtful expression, a truly hurt one. I wondered if he still cared about me. Just then, I pulled my thoughts out. No, I couldn’t afford to let anyone in.

I withdrew my hand, and got up myself. I stood up, and went to a window. I opened the window, and stared at the view outside.

It’s refreshing. It’s nice to be in Gallagher again. I looked outside, and it does feel good.

‘Gallagher Girl…’ Zach said, as I turned to him. He reached a hand to me, but slowly, as if he’s hesitating.

It was then I uttered the first ten words I have spoken ever since that memory loss, when I went back to Gallagher.

‘But I’m not your Gallagher Girl anymore, aren’t I?’

Then, I spun on my heels, and left the hospital ward. A nurse called me, and I grudgingly went back to the Examining Room, with Zach still in there. The nurse told me to lie down and relax while she came back with the equipments. Like I could relax with him here.

I wanted there to be complete silence. It would be easier. But it isn’t. Zach had other plans. ‘Who said you weren’t my Gallagher Girl? Stupid, the day you got on with Bex is the day I weren’t. But I didn’t trust my voice to say it out loud. So I chose silence. I didn’t answer.

‘Please stop shutting me out, please?’ He said in a somehow desperate voice, begging me to talk to him, something that wasn’t a comeback. And I merely shrugged.

I saw his tears fall, which amazed me since, the cocky ZacharyGoode doesn’t cry, like ever. Maybe he’s changed. My heart was touched quite a bit, and my eyes soften.

‘Please, Cammie, don’t shut me out.’ For once, he called me Cammie. I liked that feeling, listening to my name spoken in his sweet, tender voice right now, it reached to me, sang to me, begging for me to listen, to obey, but it wasn’t enough. His eyes are begging me, but those aren’t enough either. Either way, I know I’m never good enough for him.

Tears threatened to spill and I held them in desperately. Luckily, the nurse came in at this moment, and checked my vitals. Then, she told me to head off to my room, take my textbook, and go to History class. Along with Zach.

I began to walk when Zach held me back. ‘Cammie.’

I hesitated, stopping in my tracks. I didn’t turn around. That reminded me the day in the tombs. How we used to be. I remembered that hungry kiss in the bushes, before we went in the tombs. My heart ached, it really does. I wanted so badly to turn around and kiss him again, like that day in the tombs. But I know I couldn’t afford it.

I felt Zach’s arms wrapped around me, hugging me close. He then murmured into my ear, ‘Please Gallagher Girl, don’t shut me out.’ Somehow, it reminded me of that feeling, while I’m unconscious, that safe, blissful and happy sense of being. It wraps around me, protecting me away from everything.

My body melted under his touch. Every itch of my body tingled as I melted into his touch, but not moving, stiff. I wanted to stay in that position forever, embraced in his arms, getting that safe bliss and dreamy feeling again. I felt like I’m in a land of bliss, everything just cease to exist, just me and him. But then, I pulled back from my fantasies.

I abruptly pulled back. I see the hurtful look in his eyes again. The same one, which melted me to the core. But I didn’t show any of that. I simply shrugged. And then, I said, with a shaky voice, ‘I’m not good enough for you,’ and my voice broke at the end. I felt tears steaming behind my eyes, so I turned around and left.

I felt Zach’s stare boring holes into my back. I looked at the glass wall, at his reflection. And there he was, staring at me, hurt, and determined.

Hot tears welled up in my eyes as I went in the shelter of my room. I sat on my bed and cried for like hours. I have been crying so much lately, but I couldn’t help it.

I lay on my bed, sobs escaped me as I closed my eyes. The torture scenes flashed through my eyes again, and I swear my eyes looked haunted, and crazed. Red and puffy too, from crying.

Just then, the door flew open. And in came Macey, Liz and Bex. They all looked at me with wide eyes. ‘Cammie?’

Okay, the chapter is up. Please tell me what you think, and vote and comment? I would love it! Thanks a lot!