Return to Me

Chapter 8

~~~Cammie Morgan~~~

I was floating. I felt myself submerging into the water, sinking deeper and deeper down below.

I don’t know how long has passed. I don’t know how long it was. I just know it hurts to stay alive. I kept chanting to myself, ‘Just let me die already’.

My eyes stayed close, they wouldn’t open. I know that I’m either unconscious, or in a coma. I wanted to know where I am, but it’s kind of hopeless. I couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t smell anything. I lost all my five senses. I guess I’m in coma then.

Then, something gave me intense pain. At first, it’s just a prickle, but then it’s burning me to my core. I felt exhausted, and completely pained. But it felt like my soul was disconnected to my body. No matter what I do, my body won’t obey my orders.

I felt like I had been in this nightmare for years. I kept asking myself, ‘Am I dead?’ If I am dead, the light will come, and I’ll pass to either the heavens or hell. Anything that is better than here. Well, actually, hell is worse, but I am a Christian anyway.

I lost count of time. The pain’s there, always. I tried to dream.

I dream of Zach. I dreamt of me, in his arms, once again. For the one and last time, before I’m tortured and died. I longed for it, as much as my dream. I imagined his wrong, tingling breath on my neck, whispering and comforting me as I lied on his chest and cried. How safe and protected he made me feel when he wrapped me in an embrace. How his green eyes made me sink deeper and deeper, till tears fall out. How his smirk used to reassure me, telling me everything is all right. How his arms stretched out, protecting me from the harsh reality, keeping me sane. How he looked at me, the tender eyes, the concerned and worried expression, filled with worry for me. Everything about him.

But now, I recalled him chatting and laughing with Bex. The same old jealousy hit me as I hurt inside. The hurt and betrayal I felt intensified a thousand times. Now that I’m going to die, I wanted to be in Zach’s arms once again. But I know this is impossible. He was with Bex now.

I was hurt the moment I saw Bex and Zach chatting, rounding the corner. Then, I came to reality. Zach Goode had just broke my heart, and I swear, no one’s ever going to break my heart again. I’ll be tough, or at least I’ll try. If I survived the tortures and they let me go.

These things are too heart-wrenching to think about, let alone dream. I directed my thoughts to my fantasies, a fairytale I would never have. I dreamt of me, finding all my answers. I dreamt of me, talking happily with Bex, Liz and Macey, chatting together, just like old times. Me and Zach together, just like old times. Me crying into my mother’s clothes, just like old times. Me, worrying about how to pass all my exams in flying colours, just like old times. But deep down, I know it’s impossible.

An intense pain shot through my chest. I found that my soul is connected to my body again.  I tried to lift my eyelids. No, it’s impossible. I then decided to try using my ears to listen to anything, anything. I wanted to know where I am. Am I still in the Circle, or am I being saved? I really hope it’s the latter. But I know fantasies don’t come true. Not always anyway.

I heard something that sinks my heart. Catherine Goode’s voice. ‘Cameron Morgan, I know you can hear me. Give us the information, or write it down if you like. Or your little boyfriend would die.’

Who is she talking about? She must have thought Zach still loved me. I internally sighed.

‘We want the list. I believe Matthew Morgan gave it to you one day. Give it to us, and we won’t bother you anymore.’ Catherine Goode said.

What list? I was pondering the question as I felt pain. I peeled open my eyelids.

‘That’s better.’ Catherine said as she began an interrogation period.

There are no windows in the room. It’s just a while room, with no furniture. Actually, it’s a cell. I refused to answer every question. And of course I won’t be able to answer it either, according to her sources, I’m mute. She provided me a pad of paper, but I’m not writing anything. Not now, not ever.

‘Not saying anything, are you, Cammie dear?’ Catherine fake cooed. Adding a devilish smile. ‘Then the tortures begin until you would.’

I felt pain. A guard whipped me loads of times. ‘Just say something, Cammie. You aren’t that loyal to the Gallagher Academy, are you? You aren’t that loyal to your father, aren’t you?’ That word filled me with anger. I clenched my teeth. I took the beatings head on. I felt pain on my back, my legs, my ankles, everywhere. But I still wouldn’t give in. I felt tears welled up in my eyes. Not because I was sad, and weak, but because it was actually hurting. I struggle to put on an emotionless face.

‘Now, you get one more chance to talk. Then, the tortures start again.’ Catherine Goode’s voice entered my ear.

However, I made no move to talk. I will never betray my family like that. I wouldn’t betray everyone I once loved, before the memory loss. I still love them, deep down, so I guess I won’t betray them.

I clenched my teeth. I shook my head firmly. She grinned. ‘I had forgotten one small thing, Cammie. Your little pathetic boyfriend,’ She implicating Zach, my ex-boyfriend. My heart lurches. I mean, he betrayed me. I mean, I think I still love him, but I buried those feelings deep down already. I was lost, hoping to find answers. The lost memories that I wanted so bad. And along the way, they seemingly abandoned me one by one. They didn’t, completely, but I don’t talk to them anymore. Literally, and I don’t talk about my feelings anymore. I shrank back.

She continued. ‘Had broken into the Italy headquarters, and was outnumbered. We would execute him if you don’t tell us the information.’

Wait, she’s telling me Zach broke into the headquarters? I guess he wanted something there. And I don’t think she would. She isn’t so cold-hearted that she would murder her own son. No, I guess not. Especially after how she saved Zach’s life in the tombs. Which, now, my heart lurches again. Oh, how I had fallen for this boy, and how he had broken my heart.

I may still care about him, but I treasure loyalty more. Besides, I believe he would tell me not to tell her anything.

I firmly shook my head, determination in my fiery eyes.

‘Oh, I see you had chosen the slowest way to die.’

The beatings start again, more intense than before. The beatings kept coming, just when I thought it stopped hurting, another came, and I was doubling over with pain. At least, as much as I could when I was chained to a handcuff.

Finally, I felt dizziness in my mind. Please, please, just let me die. My life is worse already. Just kill me now. No one will ever remember that me, Cammie Morgan, once The Chameleon, had ever existed in the whole world.

I sank into darkness again.

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