Return to Me

Chapter 10

~~~Cammie Morgan~~~

I felt myself resurface from a dark black pit hole. I could breath just fine. I felt content, right here. I don’t want to open my eyes, but I know I would be forced to soon. I decided to just enjoy now till the tortures begin.

The question burned in my head. Why did Zach go to the headquarters? The logical part of me knows for an absolute fact that he’s there for something, not someone. But a part of me wants him to be there for me. I know it’s impossible.

The security here is too tight. I know it's near to impossible to get out of here. I felt drained, defeated, desperate. I may die here, I realised. And I really hope I did. And soon. I don’t want to be tortured anymore. Courtesy of the Circle. I was feeling empty inside too, also courtesy of the Circle.

I lost my friends, I lost my sort of boyfriend. I lost everyone. But I know it’s safer. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to them, not anymore. 

A lot of people say that when you feel alone, someone would always guide you out of your misery. But not for me. Not for a spy. For me, Cammie Morgan, no one’s there for me. No one’s there to help me, though I just longed it so much.

I know it’s the right thing to do, to shut them out. I feel empty, but I don’t need them solving my problems for me. I could solve them myself. And those would get them in danger. I had realised, in the past year, that everyone gets hurt but me. Everyone protected me, and died. I should die, but I didn’t. I feel guilty, but I know I shouldn’t.

I think they’ll feel better to know I shut them out. When they know I failed my mission, and came back in a box, or when I went MIA, they would not get hurt so much. Since they were already hurt before. Yes, it’s better that way actually.

It hurts so much to make that decision. Before, I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to them, so I became mute. Now, I know I could talk, but I decided not to. I still couldn’t bring myself to talk to them, but there’s one more reason supporting it. It’s for their own protection. They’ll all get hurt because of me, because of our friendship. Why don’t I just break it off while I still can? Protect them from possible danger? It’s better that way.

I dreamt about that fairytale again. The fantasy I would never have. Me in Zach arms, talking and chatting, laughing again, the smile reaching our eyes. Him wrapping his protective arms around me, protecting me from the whole world. I daydreamed about him every living moment of my life in the cell. It filled me with renewed energy. I tried to hide the thought that it would never happen. But I couldn’t. Sometimes, a lone tear rolled down my cheek as I tried to control it. But I couldn’t. And in the end I just gave up and let it fall.

I kept a mental picture of Bex, Liz and Macey. They warmed my heart, but it also ached. The first thing that popped into my mind when their mental pictures pop up, is a warm feeling, like I’m home. Then, I’m reminded of the reality, as I know I could never chat with them like old times, I could never hug them like old times, I could never tell them all my secrets. The full reality hits me as I shivered. I could never see them again.

I felt horrible. I realised that I’m going to die. And I’m going to die here. I sighed.

I opened my eyes. I saw myself in a dark room. With absolute silence. Maybe they’ll starve me to death.

I tried relieving the happy memories in my life. I know it’s sad, to see the people I love but shut out again. It’s heart-wrenching actually, but it’s better than none. Maybe I’ll let myself wallow in self-pity.

I remembered that day in the circus where my dad brought me. The mere mention of his name brought tears to my eyes. Everyone I love brought tears to my eyes.

I remembered how I looked at the circus, laughing with my dad. That’s the last happy memory I had with my dad. I urged myself not to cry as I moved to another memory.

This time, I saw the Gallagher Academy. I was drinking tea with my mother. We were laughing. Those were good times, times when danger wasn’t that near. It was pleasant. I missed my mother. I cried again.

I was soaked in tears as I curled up into a ball in the cell. I wrapped my arms around myself, offering shelter. It was then I realised, that now, I was truly alone. With no one to help me, even no one to care about me. Absolutely no one in the entire universe.

Then, I remembered that day in the tombs. How Zach saved me. And the way he kissed me, it’s pretty heated. I love the tingly feeling it made on my lips, love how he made me feel special. Now, he’ll never be a part of my life. I’ll be among those thousands that his mother killed, and no one would remember me.

Then, as I feared, I heard a set of footsteps coming. ‘Cammie. We have something for you…’ I heard Catherine Goode’s voice. I hate her.

She came in, then two guards followed her, carrying a if plasma TV with a big screen. I think they’re making me watch someone’s torture.

Please, please don’t let it be my mother… I begged to God. Please… I still love my mother… And I know my mother would do anything for me, just don’t let it be her! Then, I changed my mind… Don’t let it be Bex, Macey, or Liz! Especially not sweet, innocent Liz… please! Then, I added one more to the list, Zach. If I had to see him again, even in the TV, I would be heart-broken, and I may get emotionally unstable. I decided that whoever it was, I must pull an emotionless face.

I saw Catherine in the video say something to a person. I looked at the person and gasped. Zach.

Just seeing him broke my heart to pieces. It hurts so much. I know it’ll hurt much more when I saw him being tortured, I know. I tried closing my eyes, but Catherine in real life would just beat me and force me to open my eyes.

I try to think that he’s coming for me, but I still think he’s there for something. And he was unfortunate enough to get caught. And Catherine is making me watch his torture, but actually just the sight of him broke me into tears. Yes, I’m in deep trouble.

I saw him getting beaten as his jaw clenched. His eyes were fixated on something, screaming, and he would mutter something, I think it’s someone’s name, under his breath. Maybe it’s Bex. Oh no, that means she was caught too? No! Thought I do am jealous with her.

After a while, the video ended. ‘Cammie? Information?’ Catherine Goode threatened as I shook my head again. ‘No? Then you would regret it, Cammie dear.’ Catherine Goode’s voice flow through my ears as I felt the pain, intensifying.

My old bruises hadn’t faded yet, so they hurt a whole lot, intensifying a hundred times. I clenched my teeth, trying to refrain from screaming. I hate Catherine Goode. I hate Catherine Goode. I chanted in my head as I try to remain a clear head. It was quite a while till the beatings stop. I heard Catherine barked, ‘What?’ I guess a guard interrupted her.

Then the guard said something that making the pain intensify in my chest, breaking me from my trance. ‘Miss, your son escaped yesterday.’

Then, she fumed. I think she was expressing her anger out on me, since she hit me double hard. I started seeing stars, and it was not long before I fade out of consciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, I want reviews and votes! Please… I really want to know how the story turned out. Please?