Underneath the Peonies (Tom Hanson)

Chapter 9: Like I'm Gonna Lose You

Isn't it funny how disastrous life can get once everything finally seems perfect. Like, life dangles happiness in front of you like a carrot and when you reach for it, life jerks it out of your reach and yells, "psych"? Fate seems to have a sense of humor. A real fucked up sense of humor.

It started off as any regular night. I had a bit of a headache but nothing a little ibuprofen can't cure. It was so nice being able to be held by Tom, our hearts pressed together as we talked about our day and what we were looking forward to tomorrow. His apartment lease is over in a few months, but he has basically moved into my—our house.

He holds me close every night, and I always feel so safe in his warm embrace. The thump of his strong heart was my personal lullaby, and he always fell asleep quickly, especially if I was running my fingers through his hair. His body is like a heater, but I'd rather die of heatstroke than spend a minute away from him.

But then, I woke up.

My eyes fluttered open, and my head was throbbing. I tried to wiggle my arm because it was falling asleep, feeling like static on the television screen or feeling the way that Sprite from McDonalds tastes. I tried to wiggle my fingers but then I noticed that Tom was still holding me close. His breathing was deep and rhythmic, telling me that he was still fast asleep.

I rolled my head to peak at the alarm clock to see what time it was, since there was no light coming from the window. I tried to focus my vision but I couldn't acknowledge the time because my head began to swim within itself. I was feeling dizzy even though I was laying down.

I squeezed my eyes shut to try to dismiss the feeling, and when I squirmed I could feel my cold and damp clothes sticking to me like honey. My heart was anxiously pounding out of my chest and I could feel cold sweat dripping down my forehead and disappearing in my hairline. My body shook like I had the chills from a fever.

This wasn't good.

I didn't know what else to do. I had to try to push this feeling away, and in my panic, the only thing I thought to do was to try to disappear so I didn't wake up Tom and hope that this feeling would not follow me. I was so weak.

As I tried to sit up, I immediately collapsed back down. My breathing got heavy, but then my chest cramped and it was difficult for me to breathe. It felt like someone had reached into my chest cavity and squeezed the air out of my lungs. This sudden stabbing pain expended through my shoulders and down my back and into my stomach. My mouth was gaping open, and I was trying not to pass out from the pain. I managed to throw my arm over Tom, because I knew that something was seriously wrong and I was too weak to yell at him to wake up.

With the last bit of strength I had left, I breathlessly begged for him to wake up. "Tom... Tom..."

Tom's POV

"Tom... Tom..."

Vivien's voice was calling out to me, and I thought I was dreaming. I was half-awake when I stretched my arm over to her and I lovingly pulled her closer. But then she said my name again, this time in my ear. This made me groggily ask, "hmm?"

"I don't feel very good."

My eyebrows furrowed together as my eyes shot open in concern. I found her laying on her pillow, with her chest going up and down quickly but I could only hear the soft wheeze of her struggling to breathe. I sat up straight and asked, "hey, hey, what's the matter?"

Viv did not have a chance to answer. She immediately sat up and she leaned over the bed and puked on the ground. Bodily fluids make me uneasy, but I got on my knees and patted her back to try to comfort her. My eyes gazed down, but I had to do a double take when I saw that even in the darkness, it was easy to tell that it was blood.