Rose Sinclair Barnes in Winter Soldier | A Bucky Love Story

Chapter Five: Adjusting

          In the morning, I woke up to Steve kissing my cheek and stroking my hand. For a moment, I forgot what happened last night but my sore body reminded me as I sat up.

          "Morning," I yawned.

           "Morning, Ro," Steve said and kissed the back of my neck.

          "Mm," I brought up my hands to run them through his hair as he sat behind me, "thank you for last night."

           He held me around my waist and kissed across my shoulders, "Thank you, Ro. I'm sorry I didn't take you out on a proper date. I couldn't hold back yesterday."

          "Do you really love me?" I asked softly.

          "I.." he hugged me tighter.

          "It's ok, Steve. You know I love you. I'm not in-" I started but he covered my mouth.

          "Me, too. I'm sorry. I was being selfish. Please don't misunderstand. I do love you. Very much. I was jealous of him. I just needed to know what it would be like being with someone I love. I know you needed it too, Ro. You're my best friend. My closest friend. I know you. It isn't fair that we can't be with the ones we wanted. I just hope I was enough for you," he said shakily and I knew he was crying.

          I turned around and hugged him, "Steve, you've always been so considerate. It's one of the things I admire about you. I understand and I'm not upset. Thank you. It's okay. I did need this and you have always been more than enough."

          He embraced me and broke down about Peggy. He felt confused about being around me and that he still betrayed Bucky. When I offered to move out, he wouldn't let me because he still had to watch over me. Although it hurt that our dating probably wouldn't work out, we occasionally still tried to go out when we weren't too busy.

          Over the next year, Steve and I were often playful with each other but we didn't have any serious intimacy since. We didn't bring it up but shared small affectionate moments when we were together. Natasha still searched for potential dates for us but we always rejected. One meeting with Director Fury nearly exposed our odd relationship.

          "Captain, how would you like to create PSA videos for the youth? I've seen your films for promoting recruits and bonds. Why don't you help some schools with safety PSAs?" Director Fury asked during one of the Avengers meetings.

          "Safety videos? Like fire safety and crossing the road?" he asked.

          Director Fury nodded, "Your face is one the youth trusts. You're more relatable. It's a safe choice."

          Tony rolled his eyes at me and he would flirt with me that way. I winked at him and Steve noticed.

          "Why not give Schnee the opportunity? You want her to rebuild her trust in the public, right?" he asked, annoyed and glancing at me and Tony.

           "I'm afraid there will be a confusion between the Schnee Soldier and Sergeant Barnes. Black Widow is our spy and Iron Man is quite mature as well," Director Fury responded and handed Steve some folders.

          "Scripts?" he asked as he flipped through them.

          "Basic high school topics. Detention, health, safety, sex-" Director Fury explained and I choked on my water when he brought up sex.

          "Sex?" I asked.

          "Yes. I assume you've had it," Director Fury said bluntly.

          "If she hasn't, I'll be more than happy to demonstrate it to her," Tony offered quite enthusiastically.

          "Can it, Stark," Steve snapped and dropped the folders on the table, "She's had it."

          "Well, what about you? Not a lot of action in ice," Tony bickered back, which Natasha was enjoying thoroughly.

          "What about me?" Steve asked as Natasha raised her eyebrow at me.

          I shrugged my shoulders as if I didn't know and Tony gestured to me, "Are you volunteering or do you need a demonstration, too?"

          "Boys, boys," Natasha said and stood up, "that's no way to talk to a lady."

          I slapped my hand over my eyes and grinned, "We're all adults here and I'm sure we've all committed adultery and we're going to hell."

          Everyone had a chuckle at that and I slid my hand over my mouth and glanced at Steve. He made eye contact with me and I knew he was thinking about that date when he looked away with an obvious smile. I looked away and thought about it too. After the meeting, Tony put his arm over my shoulders and insisted on going out until I reminded him of the lovely Miss Potts. He scoffed and sauntered off and I went in an elevator alone.

          "Hold it!" Steve requested.

          I pressed the open button and waited for him to join me. He closed the door by pressing the button in front of me and stayed just as close when the doors closed.

          "Sorry about earlier," he said sheepishly and brushed his hand against mine.

          "Don't worry about it. Were you jealous?" I asked coyly and leaned my back against the elevator wall.

          He eyed me as I obviously flaunted my figure, "Maybe."

           "You'd make a great spokesperson. After all, you practice safe sex, too," I teased.

          He unexpectedly grabbed my waist and grinded against me, "Don't tease me."

          I gasped and put my hands on his chest, "Or you'll do what? Give me a lecture?"

          He ran his teeth against my neck and pressed his hip hard against mine, making me moan, "Maybe I won't be safe next time."

          When the elevator dinged, he separated from me and I was exasperated. He had a satisfied smile on his face and I angrily walked behind him as we went to his motorcycle. I didn't think he'd have that in him. By the time we got back to the apartment, we still had some tension. We decided to be intimate again but without protection. It was mind blowing. That night, Steve was called in for a secret mission and I was left alone for once. He gave me a kiss before he left and I had to shower. Assuming it was a test, I stayed put but I kept my phone on me in case it was something serious. When it got late, he texted me that he would be gone for maybe a week and to not worry. Director Fury stopped by in the morning after calling me to let me know he'd be coming. It was odd seeing him in civilian clothes but it was amusing going grocery shopping with him since I was going to be home alone for a whole week. He even lent me some wizard movies with the books they were based on to keep myself occupied. I fell in love with the series, though the books were much better.

          When Steve finally came home, he looked like hell but he wasn't allowed to tell me what happened or where he was. That was also unusual. He fell asleep once he laid on the couch and I took care of his things. Wherever he was, he was dealing with a lot of gunfire. I could still smell it on his clothes and there was a lot of dirt and plants in his boots. Being me, I took some samples and started to look for their origins. He was somewhere in South America. After that, we started to go on more missions. Sometimes we weren't together but it was very rare, and it seemed that we were home less and less often. It became difficult staying home after a year of working for SHIELD.