Rose Sinclair Barnes in Winter Soldier | A Bucky Love Story

Chapter One: 2012

          2012: I woke up before Steve on his couch in the morning. Sneaking around, I admired his apartment. He was accustomed to living alone and had very little in his living room. I flipped some vinyl records and put one on to play. It was playing music from the 1940's and it sounded so different to what I was used to. I made sure not to play it very loud since Steve was still asleep and I changed into my new clothes. The fashion was so different but I liked it. When I was making breakfast, Steve woke up and joined me.

          "Morning. Sorry, we fell asleep on the couch," he said, still sleepy.

          "I don't mind. It was nice catching up," I said and flipped a pancake.

          "I envy you. You adjusted rather fast," he said and started to crack some eggs.

          "I just never held onto things, I guess. Maybe I'm just more open minded," I joked and poured another pancake in the pan.

          "Did you really forget?" he asked gently.

          "I'm sorry, Steve. What Loki yelled at me in French was my mental restart. I think I used it to remember Bucky. There was something that could access my Schnee Soldier instincts but.." I trailed off and flipped the last pancake.

          "But?" he asked and took the pan from me to plate the pancake and cook the eggs.

          "It'll reverse everything. I'll be under control of HYDRA. I won't remember anything else. That's what makes the most sense. If I wasn't under HYDRA's control, I wouldn't have assassinated the president," I said and rubbed my tattoo.

          He plated the eggs and put the pan in the sink, "Still thinking about that?"

          "Steve, we served in the Army. I want to protect my country. Somehow, I ended up killing one of our country's leaders. The president. I betrayed my country. Look at my arm!" I yelled and began to cry.

          He hugged me tightly, "I should have looked for you. I-I thought you were dead. You thought I was dead. Ro, I feel responsible for this."

          I began to sob and held him, "I gave up on myself after I lost Bucky and then you. I'm so sorry, Steve. I shouldn't have let them take me prisoner. I should ha-"

          "Don't finish that sentence!" he yelled and gripped my shoulders to push me away and face him.

          I froze and stared at him. He wiped my eyes and dropped his head to my shoulder. His hands started to shake and he began to cry. We both crumpled to the ground and mourned for Bucky. Steve and I apologized to each other for giving up and accepting our deaths. Steve felt the most guilt for me becoming an assassin for HYDRA but I felt the most guilt for not being able to remember any of it to be more useful to him and SHIELD. When we were a sobbing mess, we shared a small laugh at our snotty faces. We washed up and ate our breakfast together.

          "Did you sleep alright?" he asked as we washed the dishes.

           I nodded, "You only have one room, I don't mind staying on the couch."

          "No," he said and dried his hands after me, "I'll stay on the couch."

          I made a face at him, "Compromise with me, Cap. We'll take turns."

         He sighed, "Alright. I'm sorry I didn't think this through before inviting you."

         I leaned on the counter, "Why did you invite me? Did Fury ask you to babysit me?"

          "I volunteered, actually. Fury wanted you with Nat. I volunteered because I would have a better chance fighting you, if it came to that.," he said.

          "Tch," I grew angry, "I'm not going to kill anyone! I wouldn't fight you, Steve. Or Natasha. Or anyone. I finally have my freedom back. Even if it is under the supervision of SHIELD. I'm finally home, in a way."

          "I know, Ro," he said and put his hand on mine, "but I'm doing this because I wasn't myself without you. When you first left, I.. I was looking for fights. I was angry. I thought maybe someone took you so I confronted everyone. Even Sonny."

           I bit my lip and closed my eyes, "I-I'm sorry, Steve. I didn't mean to be gone for so long back then. Why are you keeping me around now?"

          He stood in front of me and put his head on my shoulder again, "Because I still can't believe you're here. I thought you were dead. Since 1944. Even after I woke up, there was nothing from you or Buck. I had to finish the mission. I had to keep my promise."

          I inhaled sharply, "I have to go."

          He looked up at me and tried to stop me from running out the front door, "Where are you going? What's wrong?"

          I was almost out the front door, "I-"

          He slammed the door shut and pinned me against the door, "I'm not letting you out of my sight! Dammit, Ro! I can't have you disappear from my life again!"

          "I didn't keep my promise! I promised I would take care of Bucky! I couldn't even take care of myself! I'm a mutant! I killed our president! I was a soldier for HYDRA!" I yelled with tears streaming down my cheeks.

          We were both panting and I dropped my head on his chest. He put his hand behind my head and his other hand rubbed my back. I shakily held him and wept.

          "I'm so sorry, Steve," I cried.

          "It's ok, Ro," he soothed and picked me up bridal style.

          I wrapped my arms over his shoulders and he sat down on the couch. He promised that he wasn't going to abandon me and that I could depend on him. I knew I could trust him and he was always so accepting. We both felt remorse for Bucky's death and Steve promised me that he wouldn't let anything happen to me. I made a promise to him that I wouldn't run and that I would go to him if anything happened. We got along well over the next year and he really hasn't changed since high school. He told me I was still the same scrappy Long Island girl. We would train together like the old days in a boxing gym and I found great comfort in him.