HIS EYES (Gilbert Blyth - Anne with an E)

Ch 15: He Knew Nothing

Gilbert couldn't help but overhear a conversation on the train one day. Given that it was not an appropriate conversation to be having on a train, it only hooked his attention all the more. The two men sitting behind him were pipping out their cigars. The train had been unusually full that evening and so Gilbert Blyth had reluctantly taken a seat in the smoking carriage.

The carriage was filled with men reading papers and chattering amount themselves. It seemed that that lack of women in the area has allowed them to be more open with their feelings and thoughts. Something Gilbert had grown up never seeing. It felt like he had just embarked on a foreign shore again. "She sure knows how to please a man that one" the one man slurred.

"That's what city girls can do, old chum. Did I not tell you to visit the city earlier" the other man grumbled.  His laughter sounded like he had smoked too many cigarette a day. The doctor had told him that he thought smoke to weaken the lungs and cause coughing. From the raspy laugh followed by chucking coughs, he fully agreed with that assessment. 

"But not wife material that one. I need a woman who can cook and clean. That doll wouldn't even know where to start. Thank goodness for Agatha" the man added. Clearly he had been seeking the attendance of women outside his marriage. The way the man had described the idea of women did not sit right with Gilbert at all. A wife was a man's best friend.

"Agatha is getting old too. After all your kids, I wonder how she puts up with you" the other man added in agreement.

"She was beautiful once Eddy. Belive you me"

"With that many offspring. I do" they laughed together.

"What can I say, she dose the job" Gilbert felt sickened by their talk. He was excited to see Avonlea station appear so that he might rid himself from their boarish remarks. The way they understood women was so limiting. What he understood of relationships and marriages, even friendships reminded him that anyone should be cherished and loved. He could never see anyone in the twisted light that they did. Funnily enough as Gilbert walked along the road home he couldn't help but feel sorry for them.

His train trips always seemed to carry an air of chaos and drama. While he could admit that the two coughing men's ideas were completely wrong and distant realities of truth. Gilbert Blyth could not admit to stating that he trully understood women either. He had always been nice and tried to be kind but it seemed to bite him in his backside at every occorance.

Days at the Blyth - Lacroix home were filled with laughter. Sebastian and Mary could not have suited any other person. It seemed that they were living in their own little bubble of happiness that Gilbert felt behind the glass as he observed it. They never made him feel excluded from anything, but he couldn't help but feel like like an intruder non the less. On summer days like this, Gilbert liked to pull on his jacket and sneak out of the house towards the bench by his parents graves.

It was on the misty nights that Gilbert felt like he was oblivious to the world. These mornings felt so still that he found himself catching his breath, frightened to disrupt the peace. "I thought I knew what I wanted" Gilbert whispered. "I thought I knew what it was you meant to tell me. I thought I knew what I wanted to do. Where I wanted to be, to be with. I don't know anything." His brain felt as dry as a mid summer day.

"I know nothing" Realisation climes into his jacket and began to warm his soul.

My name is Gilbert Blyth.
I am seventeen.
I want to be a doctor.
Both my parents are dead.
I have Sebastian  and Mary.
I grew up in Avonlea

I want more.
I want to know more.

It had become his daily ritual these days. A chant on his brain to remind him to stay grounded. He felt his body stiffen in the cold morning air, pushing him to use and walk towards the house again. He put his muddied boots to the side and started the fire. He had gotten into the habit of collecting small twigs in the summer and stockpiling them. It made the flame grow quick enough to get a pot of tea boiling much faster. Mary walked into the kicthen as he poured rhe hot water into his mug.

"Up early again Gilbert" she commented. It sad her experience that boys at that age tended to sleep as long as they could. It seemed that Gilbert's eyes were grey and his face tiered looking. She hadn't known the boy for long - but could tell this to be unusual behaviour. "Anything wrong?" She asked as she got started on breakfast. She hoped her aditional presence had not been a burden.

"No. Just went for a walk this morning." His forced smile was very unconvincing.

"Look, I know that I have intruded on your space.." she started. Sebastian had mentioned talking to his friend about the new arrangements but she had yet to bring it up.

"Goodness no Mary. It is a pleasure to have you here. Let me assure you that, that is not it at all. Exams are coming up and I just question what I want to do" he added. She nodded.

"I am here for you. Even if it is an ear you need." Gilbert nodded. They would need more money to support them now, but that was not something he worried about. He knew that their apples and honey would be able to support them as they supported his family for so long. Now they had more hands so that would help too. It didn't take long for him to slip on his work clothes and head outside to tend to the horse. It wasn't until tea time when he heard voices inside.

"Please tell the Cuthberts that I am so greatful for their genoricity." He heard Maria say.

"Well we are glad to share. Besides the apples you gave us were fantastic" Anne's voice had said. How was it that she enjoyed the apples now, when she had rejected his attempts to give her some.

"They make an amazing apple pie I must say." Mary adds.

"Oh, you must share your recipe. Marillia makes plum puffs and apple sause but we never thought to make a pie" Mary had replied with her ingredients and had even invited Anne to come over to cook together.

It had been too easy for Mary to offer and even more so for Anne to agree. Perhaps Anne Shirley Cuthbert did not like him. That was another thing Gilbert Blyth could admit to knowing.

This chapter is based between Season 2 Episode 9 and Season 3 Episode 1