𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.

25

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𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓
╚═════════════════╝

⁂

"if i'm being honest, i can't tell you when it started. i just know that ever since i was really young i was sort of detached from everybody else."

shiloh listened carefully and quietly, his heart pounding as he focused greatly on his boyfriend, who seemed to ponder on the words he would speak next. the statement that he had just offered however, made shiloh stiffen in concentration; kaidon had never once opened up to him, and now that he was shiloh was determined not to miss one detail.

"the detachment i had though wasn't necessarily social though," kaidon clarified. "if i wanted a friend, i was able to make one.. though i've never had any interest in it. any friend i had as a child were told to get close to me by their mothers so they could try to get their child into modeling or something. i never really paid attention anyways cause i was homeschooled up until middle school so going to an actual school felt.. weird. i kept to myself until one day, i met a real friend."

"his name was emiliano and he let me call him emi like everyone else did. i'm not sure why he started being nice to me; he just started talking to me one day and never stopped. because i was so sheltered, i guess it didn't take much for me to fall in love with him. being a child and all, it felt weird that i had feelings for a boy so i stopped talking to him until he noticed. when he asked me why, i told him.. and he said that it was okay because he felt them too. i thought he was being sincere.. and i trusted him and it was months before i found out."
"found out what?"

"that he was straight as a pole, and had no interest in me at all- platonically or romantically. in fact, the only reason why emiliano befriended me was because his friends dared him to talk to the weird kid. at first i didn't feel anything at all to be honest. i went home and i went to sleep like always," kaidon recounted carefully. "but when i woke up i was in front of his dead body. it was like i blacked out almost- i still barely have any recollection of that day except realizing i killed him. apparently i had missed a whole week of school- and when i came back i lost it. doctor says it was a psychological snap caused by a manic episode, but i don't really know even to this day."

kaidon's conclusion undoubtedly surprised his boyfriend, who blinked over at him silently with wide, blue eyes as he tried to swallow down the quite unexpected confession. when shiloh was originally informed about the situation, the source made it seem as if he had simply just killed the boy without a care in his mind. now, shiloh couldn't help but to feel bad for the way he reacted with the new knowledge of the fact that at that age, whether he was concious or not kaidon simply didn't know what he was doing.

"wow." shiloh murmured quietly, at an obvious loss for words as his seemingly unaffected boyfriend just shrugged, continuing to eat his food with a certain air of calm. despite the fact that it more than a few years ago, the seventeen year old found himself somewhat overcome with emotion as he glanced away from kaidon in an attempt to hide it. "i'm.. so sorry- that's.. a lot. more than a lot. i don't understand how can people can be so cruel sometimes."
"that's okay. it was a long time ago, so thinking about it doesn't really phase anymore.. y'know? but uh- are you crying..?"

shiloh shook his head quickly, looking away as he wiped the tears forming in his glossy, sky blue orbs. kaidon couldn't help but to smile over at the compassionate boy who glanced up with large eyes as kaidon locked hands with him.

the fact that he had "blacked out" when he had actually been absent from the daily course of life for a whole entire week if anything signified to shiloh just how hurt kaidon had been. after all, what had happened to him was undoubtedly cruel.

goodness he's soft~ kaidon thought with a small chuckle before clearing his throat.

"it's okay- really, shi. i'm over it.. y'know?" kaidon asked the quiet boy who found himself wiping more tears than he expected- most likely due to the guilt he felt, regardless if he knew the specifics or not. even thinking of the situation happening to him or anybody else caused him a despair that could only be soothed by kaidion's smile. "and.. if you really think about it it's not like he can hurt me again."

shiloh couldn't help but to smile a bit at the irony of the joke, greatly relieving kaidon who was not sure what he would've done if the tears continued. shiloh was about to say something before his eyes lingered away from kaidon, spotting the scene occuring behind them.

"look." shiloh ordered, his eyes sparkling in wonder as his boyfriend turned around to see what he was talking about when he spotted just exactly what the boy was marveling at.

just outside, clearly seen through the large window, was a lovely sight to behold. the stuborness of the fall season had finally lifted into a welcoming winter solace- in other words, the first snowfall was a long awaited one though the way that snowflakes gently fell to the ground, sticking to the sidewalks and the trees was absolutely remarkable. the start of the new season had also brought new beginnings for both of the boys sitting at the table, holding hands as they watched the beauty of the white blanket sweep over the once-green landscape.

shiloh offered the boy across from him a wide smile, his gorgeous blue eyes shining as his heart sunk under the weight of the immense love he held for kaidon, who simply pressed a kiss to his slender hand.

"can you believe this?" the boy muttered. "it almost seems fake that we're dating."
"you're telling me?" shiloh cheesed. "when i first met you it took at least two weeks to get you to actually talk to me."
"did it pay off?"

the brunette pretended to think, pressing a finger to his lip as he seemed to ponder on the older's question.

"hm. i think so."

⁂

though the dinner was enjoyable, it lasted a somewhat short time and even after their much needed date the boys were left craving time with eachother which lead to their current destination.

"it's a nice room." shiloh remarked, glancing around the large hotel room that had a pretty large view of the dark, snowy night right next to bed. the room looked like somewhat of a mini apartment due to the fact that kaidon, of course, would have nothing but the best even if it was a bed to stay in for a few hours because they were tired of their own.
"it's alright." kaidon remarked listlessly, causing shiloh to roll his eyes with a small chuckle at the spoiled boy's inability to be impressed.
"i like it," shiloh told him with a small smile as he wrapped his arms around kaidon's broad shoulders, standing on the very tips of his feet and placing a small kiss on his chin. "i'm gonna go take a shower, okay? and then can we watch like.. a christmas movie?"
"already?"
"yes, already kaidon."

"whatever you want mi lindo." kaidon cooed sarcastically to the gorgeous boy who simply just rolled his eyes before he began to walk away, shortly stopping after he had taken a few steps. the somewhat antsy brunette turned around, fiddling with his own fingers before glancing over at the boy sat on the bed, occupied by his phone.

"kaidon?"
"yes?"

"...come with me?"

⁂