Insecurities (Professor Lupin)

Chapter Two

Madeleine woke when Lucy gently shook her shoulder, just as she had done on the train. She heaved herself out of bed, groaning about what time it was. "Where are we first Lu?"

"Potions, first day back and we get Snape."

Mads sighed and stood up, suddenly much more unwilling to be late. "Shit. I swear that man can't stand me." Lucy laughed at her, heading in the direction of the bathroom, leaving Mads to quickly get dressed.

The two girls met David in the common room, all of them heading to their class together. They talked as they walked, Mads walked faster than her friends, so as she usually did, turned to face her friends and walked backwards, watching David for hand signals of which direction to move, the same as they had done since they were kids. David was momentarily distracted, causing Madeline to smack back into a solid chest. She whipped around, apologies already flying out of her mouth before she even saw who she had walked into. Her eyes widened slightly when she realised who it was. "Professor Lupin." She rushed into an explanation of what she was doing, not noticing his small smile. He nodded for David and Lucy to continue their way to class before looking back down at Madeleine, who was still rushing over her explanation. "David usually tells me which way to move so I don't run into anyone, I'm so sorry Professor." Before she got any further, Remus lifted his hand to cut her off.

"Miss Jones, It's alright. I wasn't paying attention myself. If I had have been paying attention, I wouldn't have walked straight into your back."

This settled Mads, she gave him a small nod, watching as he wondered about something. he seemed to quickly change his mind, smiling at her. "Does this method of walking around really work?"

Madeleine laughed quietly and nodded. "Normally, but David got distracted. No idea what he was distracted by, it's the first time I've ever walked into anyone since we started it in our first year."

Remus nodded, looking up to the corridors which were now mostly empty. "Well Miss Jones, you'd best hurry along, you wouldn't want to be late." He watched as she looked away from him, clearly noting the mostly empty hallways. Her face pulled into a quick flash of panic before looking at him and smiling while rushing out another apology and taking off down the corridor. He smiled to himself, starting down the hall towards his classroom.

Mads was slightly late, only by a few minutes, but Professor Snape didn't miss his opportunity to attempt to embarrass her. "Miss Jones, first day of your final year and you're late already? I already fear your progress." She slumped into her chair, looking up to Snape.

"Nothing to fear Professor, I intend to do just fine" She gave him an award winning grin, which received only a scowl as he practically darted off to the front of the class with his cloak flowing behind him as he walked. She took a deep breath and turned to David who sat beside her. He watched her, whispering when Snape was busy ranting about some potion they'd be learning and attempting next class.

"So what'd Lupin say?"

"He apologised for walking into me and asked if I really walked around like that. I told him you usually steer me in the right direction, but it's very effective" She smiled at David, who was already looking at her.

"He was curious to why you walk around backward? I suppose anyone would be. Including myself if we're being honest."

Madeleine shrugged. "I just like to. I'm usually good enough to work around the footsteps, but he was so quiet on his feet that I didn't hear him at all." They left the conversation at that, focusing on the rest of the lesson and then all the ones that came after until Dinner. She sat at the table with Lucy beside her while David sat opposite them. Her eyes drifted to the teachers table, catching a set of blue ones already watching her. They watched each other for a moment before her attention was brought back to her friends. As she had done the day before, she spared him a glance as she was leaving, this time watching as he happily conversed with Professor McGonagall about something that clearly excited him, but she didn't miss how his eyes flicked to where she had previously sat, then up to the doorway where she now stood. She nodded once in recognition before turning her gaze to David, not paying any attention as she started walking backwards and talking to her friends, watching David's hands closely as she walked.

Madeleine had no relief from her nightmares that night either, so she did exactly as she had done the night before. Pulling on her robes and quietly moving through the hallways, she once again found herself sitting on a rock at black lake. This time when the male voice spoke, she wasn't surprised.

"Miss Jones, twice in two nights. Somehow I'm unsurprised. Nightmares?" He asked her quietly, as if saying it too loud might scare her, but she simply watched the water shine under the moonlight.

"No sir. Just unable to sleep." She didn't tell him the full truth, not wanting to discuss her nightmares. She watched as he smiled at her, watched the way his scars pulled over his face. They had looked so red and angry in the hall the day beforehand, but under the moon they looked silver, as if he hadn't likely undergone a large trauma to receive them. He looked up at the sky for a moment before looking back at the castle.

"I won't ask you to sleep if you are unable, but I can offer you some tea if you'd like?"

"I'd like that."

They walked in silence, only when they walked through the door of Remus' office did he finally speak, only to offer her a chair and hand her a cup of tea when it was made. He thought for a moment and Madeleine simply watched him as he gave in and eventually asked his question. "Why do you always walk backwards? I thought it was just an occasional thing that you did, but every time I see you walking with your friends, you walk backwards"

"I like to see their faces when I talk to them. Plus, David and I did it for the first time completely by accident and it kind of just stuck. I'm not really sure why we still do it, but I enjoy it." They watched each other again, only breaking eye contact to sip at their tea. Madeleine thought he looked tired, and she wasn't afraid to say so. "Either you've been on duty two nights in a row or I'm keeping you awake."

"Neither. You're not the only person in this castle that struggles to sleep, however you're the only one brave enough to go outside in the dark, but I suppose you're right Madeleine, why would you fear the dark if you hadn't before?"

She smiled at the reminder of their conversation from the night before, finishing her tea. "Thank you for the tea Professor, but I must be getting back. Thank you for understanding, both last night and tonight"

He nodded, standing up to walk her to the door. "Of course Madeleine. Anytime you need me, you know where to find me." She smiled up at him, giving him a soft smile before disappearing down the corridor and all the way back to the common room. She didn't bother going upstairs to bed, to fearful of nightmares after a good day.