I'm a Mess

F I V E

My eyes adjusted to the bright light as I stirred awake. My surroundings had caught me off guard. I could see building to building from the big windowsill, thirty feet away from where I was laying. I felt paralyzed in this moment I couldn't move a single muscle. The room was in utter silence, other from the soft talking outside the room. Barely like any of the time at home. We have three teenagers, who are vastly sociable, what do you expect? I noticed Vanessa walking in the room.

"Oh, you're up." She sighed, sitting beside me in the chair. "Apparently, you weren't supposed to be up for another couple of hours."

"What happened?" I whispered, raspy.

"You had a seizure, after blacking out last night." She explained, kissing my hair.

"How?"

"We don't know yet. There's traffic at the moment, but your parents will be here soon. Anyways, how are you feeling?"

"I don't know, I feel like I've been hit by a bus." I cringed at how hoarse I was.

"That is very normal." Vanessa said softly. "You'll feel better later on. Thank goodness you're okay."

The doctor came in a few minutes later. She started asking a few questions. My brain had felt fuzzy, in this way nothing rational would come to mind. The simplest things that could be done by an eight year old, I was having trouble with. Have you ever had a seizure before? No. What did you feel before it? I don't know.

After hundreds and hundreds of questions, I was allowed to rest.  I rolled over, regretting it the second I moved, feeling this sense of excruciating pain in almost every muscle, every bone. My body was aching with the same pain you'd feel after being hit by a car. It was the same amount of sore as you'd feel after running a marathon you never trained for.

My brain felt too tired to function, too tired to think. I could see my phone was exploding with messages, but didn't have the motivation to respond. There was this pounding headache, that wouldn't leave my head. Before I could say anything, my thoughts started slipping away, as I did too, as I let the darkness take over once more.

___

"Are you feeling better?" Vanessa asked, walking into the room. I nodded slightly. I then noticed the miniature version of Vanessa and I behind my wife. I smiled at my seven year old daughter.

She was brought up onto the bed, as she snuggled her head into my right shoulder. Vanessa sat near the edge of our bed. I slowly ran my fingers through Angelina's hair.

"Are you still sad?" She asked, softly. I looked at her, kind of at a lost on what to do. I shook my head ever so slightly. Okay, that might have been a half lie, but Angelina's seven. I watched a smile creep up on my daughter's face. "Then, does that mean we can watch Moana?"

"Yes." I stifled a laugh. The first one in probably a week or two. Angel crawled in between Vanessa and I. My MacBook had happened to be on the bed, since I kind of had to respond to emails, no matter my mental state. Cue eye roll. "What do you think we get your brother in here too?"

"I guess it's okay." She said, rolling her eyes. Angel is quite the dramatist. I got up, and went to go get Sebastian, who was in his little nursery, babbling to stuffed animals.

"Hey, bud. Wanna go watch Moana?"

"Yeah!!"

"'Kay, c'mon, they're waiting for us." I picked him up, and we walked to the master bedroom. The four of us cuddled up, as the Disney film started.

___

Once again, I adjusted to the bright flashing hospital lights. The feeling of being nauseous crept up, and I felt so sick, no doubt, probably due to exhaustion. My body ached even more than before.