I'm a Mess

E I G H T

"I'm so sorry I am late." I apologized, walking into the coffee store.

"No problem, five minutes is fine." Olivia smiled. I had taken up a job at the local coffee store three blocks from my house a few months ago. What? Yes, my parents have money but, I like working for myself. It's fun to earn your own things. Mia has her own job too, she works at Hollister.

"Okay, thanks." I got set up in the back, before starting to take orders. "Hi, what can I get for you?"

___

By the time my shift was over it was 12PM. I had a ballet intensive at three, and a some studying to do tonight. I walked back home, mapping out the rest of my day, with music blasting from my AirPods. My phone notifications snapped me out of my thoughts.

Mom <3:

We have something to tell you when you get home.

I frowned a little.

Angie 😇:

is this about dad?

Mom <3: 

Yeah...

By the text of that, I didn't expect it to be good news. Maybe he's fine, or maybe he's not. A millions things could've been the cause of these current seizures. Like the doctors said, past trauma. But, then, why would it appear all of a sudden, and why were they continuously at the moment?

Would depression be part of this? Dad hadn't experienced a depressive episode in almost a year now. I guess anti-depressants do help.  I was overthinking. Why do I overthink? Because I'm scared to death, and what else do I listen to besides my head, music, probably?

I got home after around 20 minutes. I have to admit, this probably wasn't the fastest pace I could've gone, but, when you're dreading something this big, I like to take my time. Slowly, I unlocked the door, and turned it open.

"I'm home." I mumbled, shutting the door behind me. My family was all on the couch, everyone doing something to preoccupy themselves. Sebastian was on his phone, Francisco was watching him, Mom was on her phone, and Dad was on his phone. Oh God..

"Come sit." Mom said, gently. I should've rerouted or something. My heart was racing, with the most mind-blowing, impossible thoughts ever. I sat next to Sebastian and Mom.

"So.. what happened?" I asked, hesitantly. Sebastian just shrugged, putting his phone down. I could see a bit of fear in my brother's eyes. The same fear that were in mine. I noticed I was playing with the aglet of my hoodie.

"Well.. the test results came out for the CT scan, and so did the ones for the EEG, and there's nothing wrong with the CT scan," A wave of relief washed over me but it was quick to end. "but, the EEG showed that during seizures, there was an excessive surge of electrical activity in the brain, meaning, every single one of those seizures were epileptic."

"Which means you're epileptic.." I whispered.

"Yeah." You know, you only hear the word 'epileptic' in those cringe-worthy drama tv shows, and random fanfictions you find on Wattpad. Not in real life. Not when someone you love gets diagnosed with it. My heart shattered, and it was like you heard a plate shattered. I heard it. I didn't cry. My brother did though. I sat there, paralyzed. 

I needed to leave. Just for a little bit. Standing up silently, I walked out the front door, and closed it behind me, without saying a word. That was a mistake. But, I needed to clear my head. I repeated that over and over in my head while walking to J. Hood Wright Park.