𝐖𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 | 𝐃.𝐌

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈.

September 1st, 1998

Cold and rainy.

How ironic for the weather to be like this.

She loved this type of weather, the type of weather that made you want to curl up in a blanket and just sleep all day and night, but instead she was silently watching the raindrops fall onto the train window, lost in thought.

It seemed like she's been doing that a lot recently. trapped and lost in her mind as the days go by. 

She jumps at the sound of the train door opening swiftly — she snaps her head to the sound of the door making a loud thud, almost putting a strain in her neck

Only  to be met with Harry and Ron already in their uniforms, she couldn't bring herself to put hers on just yet. "Sorry , we just came to tell you that we will be arriving at Hogwarts soon" Harry awkwardly said. — looks like she doesn't have a choice. I mean when did she ever.

"Oh thank you, guess I better get changed then." she says softly.  For a moment the two boys just stand, not knowing what to do. She laughs to herself before saying  "you two are allowed to sit down you know".  Both Ron and Harry forced out a small laugh and sat down across from the girl.

As she stands she can't help but to feel sick, she hates this feeling. She hates being like this. She closed her eyes and tried to take a moment to let out a deep breath at an attempt to calm her nerves.

you're fine. Breathe.

"Alesia," Ron spoke too cautiously. Almost like he's walking on eggshells with the girl. "It'll...it'll be okay. It'll get better."

She almost believed his words of comfort, considering he lost one of his brothers. But For some reason she just couldn't. She kindly smiles at the boy, not trusting herself to speak, pushing back the tears that threaten to spill.

As she turns to step foot out into the train walkway, she ignores the nauseating feeling sitting in her stomach.

She wishes she could be optimistic like ron. She wished for many other things.

She wishes she knew how to cope.

Strange

the only word to describe how Alesia felt. — It felt strange, seeing the school again.

Harry , Ron and Hermione walked ahead of her as they entered the castle for the first time since the war. Again, she wished for Ron's optimism, she needed that more than anything right now and she desperately wished she could stop seeing bodies that once lined the halls. Everytime she closes her eyes, all she sees is him.

Almost like he's haunting her.

"Right ale?" She snapped out of her thoughts to see the three friends waiting for Alesia to respond. She made a mental note to at least look like she is paying attention to the things that are going on around her.

"Hm?" she replied, trying to get the frizzy-haired witch to repeat her question, "I said, the train was a bit rougher than I remember." repeated Hermione, " Oh yeah, I guess so."  Alesia replied with an uninterested tone, Hermione knew that the girl was having a hard time adjusting to being back  and Hermione's heart ached for her friend.

As the group reached the great hall , Aleisa couldn't help but to notice the framed portraits along the walls, one in particular caught her eye, a picture of  Albus Dumbledore hanging above the entrance — how fucking selfish. Hanging a picture of a man who used children like toy soldiers, honoring him like he was the hero, instead of honoring those who lost their life to protect this school.

As she made her way into the great hall she spotted Luna Lovegood & Eleni Baker catching up on lost time. She saw Luna laugh at something Eleni said. Alesia smiled softly to herself, seeing her friend being able to enjoy moments like these. Alesia was somewhat relieved that Luna was one of the few that didn't fully lose herself to the war.

Alesia said her goodbyes to her three friends and made her way to the slytherin table.  She sat far from the others, it felt wrong pretending that everything was normal. Even the air that surrounds her feels different — colder than before. The amount of grief voldemort left everyone to deal with after he yelled out too many killing curses will haunt everyone forever and there's no denying that. Nothing will be the same without them.

Just as she finished her thought, she saw him.
Her breath became rigid, her heart almost stopped, she gasped out loud.

Not because she was scared, because Draco Malfoy looked horrible. He had ghostly pale skin — paler than she usually had seen him, his cheeks were sunken in and his eyes were two shades darker than before. Alesia hadn't seen the blonde since the war.

His eyes meet hers suddenly — she feels like someone knocked the air out of her body, unable to move.

As he sat just a few tables down, sitting with Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini  & Theodore Nott. Draco didn't seem to be paying attention considering he was still staring at the girl.

Alesia was the first one out of the two to look away, Draco kept his gaze for a while until pansy tapped him, breaking his gaze.

She should feel happy seeing him like this. He deserves it, she thought. But she isn't  like him, no one deserves to have choices already made for them when they are born. Draco Malfoy had no choice. She tried to convince herself that that's exactly what happened, yet she knew he wanted to be a part of following Voldemort, just like his father.

Lucius Malfoy only cared  for himself, everyone knew this. He had something to prove, so he sealed his only child's fate with the idea of turning him into a Death Eater one summer evening, and Draco craved nothing more than validation from his father, it was the perfect match for the Malfoy's.

Lucius Malofy was evil in its purest form.

Alesia hated Draco.

Draco Malfoy is vile; he's reckless.

Draco Malfoy was ruined by the war and Alesia couldn't wait for him to crack because of it.